Karezza seems like an expanded balloon to me. You can pressure it up to a certain level and play with it, but the trick is, don’t over blow and don’t release. Then it can become a marvelous dance that has no real definable limits, except perhaps, not to reach orgasm. It just goes on and on, a beautiful joyous communion until you want to get up and do something else. I was thinking about this balloon metaphor the other day and started laughing uncontrollably. My love and I are stunned at how the simplest, playful joy, cuddling, kissing, snuggling naked can be so liberating and nurturing to the deepest core.
So often in the past we thought that there must be a formula, a method to learn. But there isn’t, it’s just a rise and flow of effortless motion, softness, tingling arousal and focused attention locked on one another. Once there is no goal to get to a release, it just becomes gentle touch and affection. It has become the center of our life together, resting in this quiet space where our loving feelings just wash over one another. I've practiced Vipasanna (breath meditation) and Biogenic meditation for years, and yet nothing has brought me a sense of mindful attention on the Now moment like this has.
So often, we have thought there should be a definitive, poetic document describing Karezza for those of us who have had trouble breaking out of the conventional sex mindset. Yet, every time we try to write it comes out sounding dry, dull and boring. Perhaps, Karezza is a whole new level of Being, a way that goes beyond "talking" and one can only point the way. Anyway, I’m finishing up “Karezza Explored,” an article Darryl, Rachel and I have worked on together, a follow-up to "Karezza in Four Easy steps.". There are some Newbie’s reading it now to offer some points for clarification. So I will get it to the site as soon as I can.
I'd love to see the day when this kind of sexual bonding is common and out in the open.
I agree~
I've wanted to blog about our experiences lately, but I keep coming up with nothing that can come close to what we are feeling and experiencing. The words just won't come. It seems to defy description.
But you did a good job above and I'm going to try to come up with something because it *does* need to be shared.
Looking forward to the article, KevinJ!
Doesn't sound
dry to me.
Looking forward to your masterpiece. I took the "4 Steps" off the front page thinking your new one would be along shortly.
P.S.
This post doesn't come up when I hit "Karezza Recent Posts" for some reason~
Thanks
Kevin chose a different topic. I changed it.
BANG! BOOM!
I am glad you mentioned the balloon. I had forgotten about the balloon. Several years ago I used a balloon and a helium tank to explain to my wife how my orgasms worked. We would time our orgasms, so we could orgasm together, and sometimes when I was "ahead" of her I would need her to slow down (she was usually on top) to let me recover a bit. I would inflate the balloon until it almost popped and then release some of the helium and then I would refill it. I did this several times to show her how it worked. After several inflation/deflation cycles I let it fill up till it popped, BANG! BOOM! orgasm, dead balloon...... I did this to help her better understand how once the balloon popped (or I had my orgasm) it was all over. No more, done, finished, it's over, sorry about your luck. Now that we are practicing Karezza the balloon does get a bit inflated from time to time but being aware of what is happening an not "over-inflating" the balloon is what it is all about now. There is no more done, finished, it's over, sorry about your luck, which is what we are finding to be the beauty of Karezza. Both of us come away feeling satisfied and bonded not leaving either one out in the cold, helpless, in need, and unsatisfied. It would be nice to see Karezza out in the open. If it's up to Marnia it will soon be there. Good job on the ABC show Marnia!!!!
You can thank Darryl
He has befriended some therapists who had contact with the reporter and that's how she got interested in the story. When she contacted me, she asked if I could recommend a man to talk with. She already had Darryl lined up, so I recommended another forum member too (who didn't mind being "outed"). Sure would have been great to get Rachel's voice into the mix. I sent the reporter information on Diana's books, but she didn't bite.
Funny how things work out.
I'll try to add the balloon metaphor to the "Karezza Korner" page since you guys find it so helpful.
I hae noticed something
when she has an orgasm, on her worst days in the passion cycle, I am a lot less passionate about her. My feelings diminish on those days. It has happened repeatedly.
The feelings don't leave entirely and they come back. Her days are day 11/12 or thereabouts. That's when she'll be likely to be depressed or anxious or push me subtly away, and that's why I feel my diminished feelings about her.
The solution is to cuddle and have Karezza. That makes it all fine.
Fascinating, isn't it?
So much easier not to take things personally when you know the reason is neurochemical...and that it will pass.
that's EXACTLY my experience, Marnia
I just don't even think about it anymore as anything personal.
Fascinating how when we know the reason it makes no difference because it isn't really about "us".
Actually nothing really is. None of it can be personal. But that's a more advanced lesson that I am still working on absorbing
Anyway, the balloon metaphor is perfect because it's a couple experience.
@luv2fly, did you *really* use a helium balloon and tank to illustrate this to your wife????
I did. It was a great example
I did. It was a great example of what goes on with an orgasm, at least for me. With Karezza this is one more factor that can be left out of the equation, trying to time orgasms.
One could also use a hot air
One could also use a hot air balloon or lift analogy. You need some and not too much lift. Too much lift and you'll be space bound until you disintegrate. A popping balloon is perhaps a simpler analogy. Can't women say we don't pop, at least not in the same way?
Probably need a woman's point of view
If I had to describe it I would say you are right they don't pop, they erupt, more like a volcano or an earthquake, with no less intensity than the volcano and usually with no more warning than an earthquake.