Its the 5th day. And I must say, yesterday was pretty good. I actually quite enjoyed it. I too k it easy, watched some movies, drank tea, experimented with making a new recipie of popcorn and well, it was kinda swell. I could relax qith myself, just being me, without having to run to the porn. It was a big relief.
I]m on my way to a lesson right now, sitting on the bus. I thought I would honour my commitment of writing here. I feels lighter, I can truly say that on this day, day 5, it is lighter. This is of course not my first attempt, and I think that all the hingsIve read and listened to, articles books etc. have really come in handy. So no matter if one feels in a rut, there comes a breaking point, the breaking point of the addiction, where your will starts having more influence then the will of the addiction, or more correctly, the habit of addiction stops being as strong. Its still there, dont misunderstand me, it just doesnt feel like a boulder has been placed on my head, its more like a bag of pebbles, sometimes you feel them, but most ofthen they are not disturbing you.
Its a beautiful day. Sunny, spring has begun to shine. Im content, very much so. I think that is the most important thing, contentedness, not happiness or avoiding pain, but just being aple to say... it is all just perfect.