I can't take much more of this!

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Submitted by Shadowking58 on
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Think of it like this, what if you are a guy? You know your straight, lets say? But then you get this one gay thought thats hard to let go of, now, people tell you after suffering with this constant battle for 3-4 months or so, that you should ask yourself what your desires are. Okay, so, what happens when you do that, and you know you like women, you aren't aroused by men even a tiny bit, you think about physical, emotional, and sexual intimacy with men, and your response is a simple 'meh, whatever' then you think the same about girls and you know that's what you want? Yeah, that's me, yet I can't seem to shake the gay feeling, or stop worrying about it. I'm also committing to pornfree and nofap (if you all know what that is). But I don't know if that means anything.
This is tearing me apart mentally, and I'm exhausted almost every night, even waking up in the early hours of the morning sometimes.

How long have you been porn free?

From what I've seen, OCD and HOCD tend to get worse for a while after you quit. Your brain *really* believes that your sanity lies in those neurochemical rushes.

Some guys get meds for a bit to take the edge off.

For others, just reading other guys' withdrawal symptoms helps them understand the power of what they're dealing with so they can stay detached. Have a look at this page, and if you want more, there's a link to a PDF at the bottom: What does withdrawal from porn addiction look like? | Your Brain On Porn

Here are guys' tips for getting to sleep without porn: Sleep suggestions

Also think about trying some techniques for helping your brain get back in balance:

Cold Showers

♦Solo Tools (exercise, meditation, and many other things guys have recommended)

Be patient. Socialize. Keep a sense of humor - taming a brain is like riding a bronco, but it gets easier.

*big hug*

"taming a brain is like

"taming a brain is like riding a bronco, but it gets easier"

Wow. So true. It's good to recognize that your brain will be screaming a lot of crazy things as it's not getting the stimiluli it's used to. You don't have to listen to all these crazy rantings, because of course they're calculated to upset and perturb you. Have you heard of No Thank You meditation? http://yourbrainonporn.com/no-thank-you-meditation

I know meditation sounds hard/weird/new agey, but this is so simple and helps you build a skill of just saying "No thank you" to thoughts that arise that aren't helpful or useful.

As an analogy, think about how people deal with bees. A lot of people freak out about bees and flail around. The bee smells fear and gets even more determined to hang around and figure out what's going on. My husband has an awesome way of dealing with bees. He stays super calm and slowly, calmly escorts the bee away with his hand. To me, that's what No thank you meditation is like. Learning to calmly and politely push those thoughts away before they sting/get tangled in your hair/get you too riled up to sleep.

Best wishes, and may the Force be with you.