Karezza lovemaking at bed

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The goal of our lovemaking is to physically and mentally unite. We do it to comfort each other rather than to satisfy only our own sexual hunger. Sometimes we are aroused, but most of the the times we are barely aroused. Nothing can make us more relaxed than me resting deep inside her.

We try to go to sleep together. If one of us is late to bed, other eagerly wait to welcome him/her. Sometimes we are tired and just connect and fall sleep. But most of the times we make love for around an hour or more. We sleep face to face lying on our side in a single pillow. She was never so receptive and I was never so deep inside her. We relax with me near her cervix and enjoy our deep physical connection. Either we connect our lips and kiss or we gaze at each other and smell our breath. Complete bliss. We can feel every little movement of ours, no matter how little that is. Sometimes there is some movement like gentle rocking motion but no in or out movements. An hour can pass so easily lying in stillness and it is the most wonderful part of our lovemaking. Erection comes and goes but the best one is the erection without rigidness. She finds melting and growing inside her so pleasuring that she even moans. Our effortless and most relaxing lovemaking continues until we drop off to sleep connected.

We don't know how long we remain connected in our sleep. In our sleep what happens is really a mystery. Few midnights I woke up with a hard erection inside her and even quite a few times I had wet dreams inside her. But, usually we find ourselves disconnected after waking up. Maybe I go soft and slip out from her or maybe we move and roll apart in sleep. We reconnect again after waking up in the morning or in midnight and let our love making continue. Hardly few times we have woken up connected in the morning and it is the most wonderful way to wake up.

I like to know from the karezza couple that how often you sleep connected together and how often you wake up still connected? Do anyone have any suggestion to happen it more frequently?

When my wife is in her period, we don't connect but still we sleep cuddling together in a single pillow. Yes , sometimes we get too much aroused and I end up ejaculating inside her. It happens after couple of weeks of abstaining from orgasm and we try time it before the start of her menstrual days. But generally our lovemaking has no relation with thrusting or orgasm. It is all about relaxation and connection.



I'm envious

of the quantity and quality of the lovemaking you describe. Smile

We usually make love in the morning, not at night, so we rarely fall asleep connected. Sounds lovely, though.

I'm also curious about your on-your-sides facing each other position. I don't think I've ever managed to have sex in that position. I find it difficult to penetrate and difficult to stay in, in that position.

And what do you do with your arms and legs? (See http://xkcd.com/335/)

As for how to stay connected all night, you could try tying a cloth belt (such as from a bathrobe) around your hips. Or maybe one of those luggage straps used to keep suitcases from popping open. Or put something heavy (such as boxes of books) behind you.

Do you have any problems from being in one position all night? My hip and sometimes neck and shoulder can feel stiff or achey if I lie on one side all night.

Watching the Vimeo video on

Watching the Vimeo video on the Huffington Post article, the fitted sheet is a looser fitting, a bit stretchy, flat, and one piece. So, it really is just a looser fitting, stretchy conventional fitted sheet, and should be a piece of cake to change.

I have put this on my to-buy list.

I thought karezza couples are

I thought karezza couples are more into sleeping connected. We find karezza is the most relaxing and we don't miss chances to connect if we are alone in bed together. It is really lovely to start and end a day with a deep intimate connection with the most beloved one.

We usually start with missionary unless we are very tired. I slowly insert her and take around 5 minutes or more to have the full penetration. Then we move to our sides. When we connect lying on our sides, my wife just raise her leg to allow me to be inside her. She rests that leg over me. We either rest our arm under the gap of other one's neck or we make a v shape and rest the palm under our own belly. We choose what is most comforting to us.

This position does not allow to move much and we enjoy our stillness. But after about half an hour we usually change sides with a few minutes of me over her or she over me. We try not to interrupt our deep connection and this is really cute and funny. My wife often giggles when we do this.

In sleep I think we move a bit and get on our back. After getting up we usually find we are not in our position and not connected anymore. Yes, I had some aching feeling several times when we started sleeping connected. That time we were too much concerned to keep connection rather finding a comforting position.
But this doesn't happen now.

We moved our bed to our kids room and we bought a semi double bed for us. We didn't buy double bed because that would give us much room to move away. Thanks for your suggestion. We haven't try out these things yet. These look somewhat ridiculous but fun for trying out in a single night.

Cuddle mattress looks really helpful to me. I will check if this available here. Thank you Marnia.


[quote=lovers13]I thought karezza couples are more into sleeping connected..[/quote]

What you're doing sounds wonderful, though I have to admit my wife and I are on the more active side of the Karezza spectrum. Every time we've tried simply 'connecting', we've either fallen asleep shortly afterwards, or else found our minds wandering and we've lost interest.

When we do fall asleep with me inside her, I think it must end shortly afterwards, as we've never woken with me still there. Both of us toss and turn quite a bit when asleep, and we often end up on different sides of our very large bed.

As it happens, we rarely make love in bed anymore, preferring other locations around the house and garden, and when we do, it's almost never at night. Bed in the evening seems just too powerful a magnet for oblivion.

I've come to the conclusion Karezza means very different things to different people. I often wonder what picture visitors to this site take away with them of what 'unconventional lovemaking' consists of. For us, in many ways, it looks just like conventional lovemaking, but slowed down so the traditional end seldom arrives. For others, it might look like nothing much is happening, even though, as you describe so well, it clearly is.

Our Karezza path hasn't been straightforward, with lots of stops and starts, so maybe your experiences are something we can look forward to further down the line.

We haven't learned karezza

We haven't learned karezza from any books or from others. So, we have no rules and we just do what makes us happy and feeling loved. Our karezza may look different from the most of yours. I think every couple would have their own version of karezza that suits and satisfies them, even if they were given training on karezza.

When we relax deeply connected, A feeling of pure contentment seizes us. We savor every bit of our connection and it feels like a divine union. We stay around 50-60% if you give 100% to orgasm.

We find it difficult to have slow sex and end up without having orgasm. It slips us over the edge and we don't like finishing in this state. We make our own rules. We don't try to step away from orgasm when we need to. It is much better to have orgasms together than ending up with blue balls. It usually happens once in a month specially when I know my wife's period is going to start.

Our love making is confined to our bedroom with door closed. Though night and morning are our daily love making time, we do it afternoon or evening if we can manage. But it is always in our bedroom. Few times we made love at couch but when kids were away. Do you have any child?


[quote=lovers13]Do you have any child?[/quote]

Our children have grown up and left home, which makes a massive difference. When they were still with us, our lovemaking was quite different - always in the bedroom with the door shut, like you; but unlike you, invariably to 100%.

Nowadays, in percentage terms, it is probably around 75-85%. Any lower, and we tend to sink into a doze (which is great, if that's what we want), whereas any higher, orgasm starts to look attractive (which is also great, when it happens).

I do have books on Karezza, but I can't say I follow - or followed - them. It does interest me that the descriptions in the books, and the recommendations concerning frequency and duration, are so different, though.

Connected sleeping

My beloved and I almost always connect when we are ready for sleep at night~~for some reason it makes both of us so much more able to fall asleep (like a lullaby!). We are usually in the scissors position because it's so comfortable for both of us.

We also connect in more "present" ways during the day (including the morning), but we still like to be connected when it's time for sleep. Very soothing.

Marnia, we need that mattress. That looks divine! (my arms fall asleep in any other position other than scissors if we are at it for very long)

You described it perfectly

[quote=Rachel]My beloved and I almost always connect when we are ready for sleep at night~~for some reason it makes both of us so much more able to fall asleep (like a lullaby!). [/quote]

I fully agree with you. It makes us much more able to fall sleep and have a peaceful sleep.

We use a big pillow for us and we usually slip our hand under each others necks. You can try using a pillow with more height. But, yes that mattress looks much more useful.


I've slept on a 4 inch thick piece of foam for 40 years (not the same piece!). It would be easy enough to cut a piece out. If you don't like it you could put it back in, hold it with duct tape and flip that end to your feet.
But I really posted this so somebody might read some of Lover13 stuff!

Thanks for the suggestion. We

Thanks for the suggestion. We have been avoiding sleeping connected for a while due to my wife's pregnancy. We have tried spoon position some times but since she need to sleep comfortably, we gave a break to that. But snuggling isn't over. I-m so happy

Different Paths

I do think you're very right about the different paths.  

My partner and I spend 90% of our lives together.  We work in the same office, in sight of one another, we are in the same department, and our jobs are linked in various ways. We carpool together, live together, cook and eat all our meals together, and our friends are shared.  We are not married, but we jointly own a home, and cars. And it's been this way for 15+ years. That said, we only have sex/karezza once or maybe twice a week.   And that's exactly the right amount for us.  We snuggle daily, laugh a lot, and are very very happy. Smile  We've been doing Karezza for 4 years, and 4 months. That's what my account age here tells me. It's not like I've been counting. 

I assume we're doing it the right way for us because we're very very happy.  Smile



As an author,

I'm torn. I encourage people to find their own way in my book, and just provide a "recipe" for those who might want it. If ever I write another one on this subject, I'll just refer them to this page and skip the recipe completely. Wink

You should be thanked for

You should be thanked for running this beautiful site and writing a helpful book teaching Karezza. I haven't read it yet but I have made up mind to read it. I think I will be able learn new things that will help us. If I would have read it earlier, I think we would started our karezza journey much more earlier.

I think your 'recipe' has been helpful to new couples starting karezza or to whom who wants to practice it more ideally. I think there may be things that are different between couples who practice, but the purposes are same for all.

Thank you for your effort to increase harmony and love in marriage.

I am glad that you provided

I am glad that you provided guidance and counsel from your research and experience, Marnia. It is a very useful starting point, or return point, in case 'accidents' are happening too frequently (which happened to me).

We are all obviously independent thinkers here, and do not blindly conform to guidance or diktats (Weir: 'Okay once per day, but never more than once per day!!!').

This forum provides a great supplement -- real-time experience and opinion from fellow souls on the Karezza path -- to your teaching, Marnia, and that of others.

we don't usuallyjust connect

We practice Karezza slower and gentler than "ordinary" sex, and it can last awhile, and then we disconnect. Frequency is about 4 or 5 times a week, which works out well for both of us. She initiates sometimes now, which she never used to. This is very nice.