Dear Karezza friends,
I am currently experimenting with Karezza - or to better express how I feel it: my partner and I are currently on the path towards Karezza. Sometimes "successfully", I think, and beautifully, and sometimes falling back into old patterns.
The question that is very important to me right now is the question of sexual excitement. We usually begin beautifully and gently, and the love energy is flowing and the heart connection is there. But often after a certain time, a strong sexual excitmenet is triggered (this usually happens when my partner touches my sexual organs, and the excitement becomes very strong in her) - at this moment I notice an instantaneous change of energy. The energy is no longer warm, loving, beautiful, but becomes an energy (to a greater or lesser extent) of lust, it is body-pleasure-centered, and I feel there is separation between us at that time and just a being possessed by the sexual excitement. (I am eventually drawn into the body-pleasure-centered energy as well)
For me this is a very big problem, as it goes against the whole spirit of what we are aspiring to. In my understanding and experience, where there is love there is no lust, and where there is lust there is no love. When we make love while maintaining the heart connection, we are happy, when the lust moments are too strongly present, we are unhappy, and often tired and de-energized (even while avoiding orgasm).
So my question is: how much sexual excitement is compatible with Karezza and with maintaining the love connection? The very nature of sex is that sexual energy is present and aroused, so in any kind of sexual relation, Karezza or otherwise, there must be some degree of sexual arousal - of course! But how to make this sexual arousal serve love, and not lust - at all times? Is it a question of degree - when the arousal is too strong (maybe this is what we can call "excitement"), it is too difficult to channel into love and thus makes Karezza very difficult? So the solution is to keep the arousal soft and gentle, to not allow it to become too strong?
And in this connection: what about the moments when our passion, the sexual energy and feelings for each other are very strong and powerful?
I would be so grateful if some of you could share your experience on this.
I would also like to know what the people who have written on Karezza say about this. I have only read the book by J. William Lloyd, quite carefully and thoroughly, though I think this is a book that can be re-read and re-read (so far I have read it twice). I remember that he says in the book that when the woman is feeling extremely passionate, it is possible for the man to maintain control and practice Karezza, in any position and with any intensity the woman desires, without losing control. When I read this I did not really understand, as it seemed to me against the spirit of Karezza for any wild excitement to be going on, even if on the part of only one of the partners.
Looking very much forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences! :)