courtly companion needed

Submitted by fpaulini on
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Italian man new in this group and new into karezza. I know I have to change. But karezza is so different for me that i really need help to share experiences and guide me.

Attempting to Heal

Brand new and slightly resistant to all this...

Recently confessed to a 10-year habit of infidelity. Marriage rocked to its core, but both intent on healing (we're in deepest love in memory).
I'm aghast, but I appear (if silly online quizzes are to be trusted!) to have elements of love addiction and sex addiction that all attempt to plaster over a gaping hole of an intimacy disorder. All this in a man who considered himself quite successful and sane!

Initiated a Sexual fast on the day of confession, currently at day 19. Appear to be in the midst of an emotional collapse, despite having no "symptoms" until now.

Desperate for some female ear; my wife loves me but is in no condition to hear me or walk with me.

Everyone near me and all my research points me to group therapy (shudder), but I'm distrustful of a heavily evangelical bent. I am a Deist and happen to intellectually and emotionally love my faith. Rather annoyed that pastors/counselors would use my vulnerability to point me to "the" way.

I'm hoping this forum can be my outlet for group therapy in addition to the actual group I'm signed up for in a week.

This isn't actually a recovery forum :-(

It once was...hence the confusion. But if you want support, check out this page: Many are not in the least religious. Our focus has been on porn, but many of the organizations there focus on both sex addiction and porn addiction.

If you and your wife try karezza, then this is the forum for you, but it sounds like she may not be ready for that yet. Meanwhile, here's a "secret" tactic for healing the relationship. The Lazy Way to Stay in Love

And here's more about karezza and how it can help with resetting sexuality: Karezza is for addicts (too)

Good luck sorting things out. Expect it to take time to heal the loss of trust. And expect recovery not to be linear. There will be good days and bad days, for quite a while.