Do other experience these feelings?

Submitted by munroist on
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We’ve been practicing love making without the goal of orgasm for well over a year now – in my case that means no attempt to reach ejaculation. What I’ve noticed is that now when I’m moving inside my wife I feel a gradual build up of the most delightful sensations and I often feel as though I’m actually having an orgasm. This feeling then gradually subsides and I don’t usually ejaculate, although this does happen from time to time.

I was wondering whether others experience this. Afterwards I feel totally relaxed and extremely affectionate and experience no headaches (as sometimes happens if I ejaculate) and certainly no “hangover” or bad feelings. I also find that my erection often comes back almost immediately and I start to move again for a short while.

My wife is overwhelmingly

My wife is overwhelmingly positive. She enjoys making love without the pressure to orgasm, although this does occasionally happen. Perhaps more to the point as far as intimacy is concerned is that she obviously wants to make love more often than in the past and hasn't said no when I've suggested we do.

Sounds wonderful, m-; I am

Sounds wonderful, m-; I am very happy for you and your wife!

That sounds like the fabled 'valley orgasm' that I read about in Diana Richardson's book and the one by her husband. Awesome!

How long into your 'session' does it take to get there? I ask because my wife limits our 'sessions' to 30 minutes (up from 20 minutes as of two weeks ago, progress!), and I have not ever had a 'valley orgasm.'

Yes they do sound as though

Yes they do sound as though these feelings may be what is referred to as "valley orgasms".

We don't actually time ourselves (although we don't normally spend more than 20-30 minutes making love) so I can be precise. I'd think when they happen they are usually about 10 minutes or so after we start intercourse. I would stress that our movements are slow and gentle and I avoid getting too heated up.

My First Valley Orgasm

A few months after we started Karezza we decided to try a new position. My girlfriend and I were still trying to figure out how not to experience an orgasm; since she was having a problem of me not stopping things in time for her we decided that she would be the driver. We still lived in the dorms at that time and the rooms all came with a couple of cheap rigid chairs. I sat in the chair, and then my girlfriend sat in my lap facing me as I slid inside of her. At first she wasn’t sure about the position because it turned out to be pretty stimulating for her, but slowly rocking back and forth gave her good control.

Besides thrusting, that position gave us good upper body access. We were both enjoying her breast stimulation, which she would have me ease up on periodically to slow the tempo. My girlfriend continued a slow grinding thrust and we were really in a zone when I felt I was getting too close to the edge. I put my hand up on her breast and told her to stop for a minute. Right as she stopped I felt this warm wave come over my whole body and a sense of calm and relief. It was almost the opposite of a regular orgasm; pleasurable but it was still instead of motion. My girlfriend didn’t know what was going on and asked if I was OK, I just nodded yes. Then I kissed her and tried to explain this totally awesome feeling, she asked “Well did you cum, it doesn’t seem like it?” She was right; I didn’t ejaculate, I was still hard, but I wasn’t on the edge any more.

I read about the valley orgasm before but didn’t understand until I experienced it. This first time was really memorable because it was like—Wow, now I get it; this is really cool. I have had others, it doesn’t consistently happen for me. Probably could make it more consistent if we tried but then we would be making sex goal driven for a different type of orgasm. I think Emerson and Darryl have described them a few times, each of us probably described them a little differently but similar.

Does anyone have these on a consistent basis? If so, how do you do it?

I think I had a 'valley

I think I had a 'valley orgasm' today. And, now that I have some familiarity with it, I think I have had them here and there over the months.

Over the past week or so, I discovered that I really enjoyed stopping all pelvic motion while in a cross between 'scissors' and 'missionary' (it is our usual position, really just missionary with me offset 20-30 degrees to the side). Then, while keeping my pelvis completely still, I visualized, and lightly moved my fingertips up over, my wife's seven energy points/chakras (actually, I cannot reach point one, so I just visualized it). I did that five times, all without moving my pelvis. After the fifth round, I made slow moves in, probably five or so, as deep as possible.

The resulting feeling was incredible, and lasted 15-20 seconds or so. I sensed a bit of slow, spasmodic movement in my wife's vaginal wall, as if she were having an orgasm. (We do not talk about sex, so I did not confirm with her afterwards).

I repeated the five visualization/fingertip brushing cycles, the five or so slow, deep penetrations, and had another onset of wondrous feeling. But, I pushed things too far the second time and climaxed.

Looking back, I think I have had these lower intensity, but nevertheless wondrous, non-ejaculative orgasms here and there, especially over the past week or so. munroist's comments last week prompted me to keep my eye out for things and to keep things slow. I think my identifying, 'Hey, I am having a valley orgasm!' this morning prompted me to try a bit too hard to replicate it, hence, my climax during my follow-on attempt.

I look forward to seeing if I can regularly replicate this without climax. I feel confident that I can -- I think I had a valley orgasm yesterday, in addition to today, and the same for my wife -- now that I am being completely still for good periods of time and do not follow it with 'hot' movement, only with slow, deep movement for a limited period of time.

Thanks for the guidance, m-!


That's great to hear.

It will be interesting to see if you notice a drop in your sensitivity for a week or so.

I've had another interesting

I've had another interesting experience. After moving quite gently in my wife (and she doing the same) for about ten minutes I felt that orgasm like feeling again with no obvious ejaculation. I stayed hard and after a minute I asked my wife if it was alright to move again. It was and again there was that incredible feeling without the usual shuddering of normal ejaculatory orgasm. The really interesting feeling was how relaxed I felt
and how affectionate I feel to my wife. I usually want to carry on caressing her afterwards which if course doesn't tend to happen with normal orgasms!