My partner and I try to have sex once a week and I have found this satisfying for the most part (I usually avoid orgasm and our intercourse is slow and relaxed). However, things sometimes come up where we are unable to partake in the act, usually on her end (i.e. migraine, too busy with school/work, not in the right mindset, etc.). When this happens I get feelings of frustration/distance/disappointment and she picks up on it and it becomes harmful for our relationship. It's painful because I feel needy and not in-control of my feelings. As best as I try to respect her wishes and channel that frustrated energy elsewhere, it doesn't work. We usually wind up having an upset. I've even been to multiple therapy sessions because of this issue.
Is there a way/methods other practitioners have discovered that work to mitigate these unpleasant feelings?
Thank you in advance!