Karezza - over excitation causes hangover?

Submitted by Fel9696 on
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Hi everyone,

So i've been trying Karezza with my partner for some weeks now and the exchanges have made us feel very different in a very good way, however when we try karezza intercourse at the end I feel those hungover symptoms x10. I get overly excited, a lot of precum but I dont ejaculate. I try to breathe and try to refocus on conforting her by giving her loving affection by strocking her hair or kissing her in a loving giving way.

Anyone went through the same? Why do i get those hungover feelings if there is no orgasm .. am i not ready? Do i need more time with exchanges?

It’s not just you

It’s that way for me too. 

What I find helps is to focus on relaxing my scrotal area -  my root. Focusing on that at all times and relaxing that area keeps sexual energy flowing really nicely and doesn’t get me feeling that hungover feeling afterward.

It is fun to go to the edge and not fall into orgasm — but without root focus and relaxing the root, it often causes the same aftermath as orgasm.

Congrats — you are amazing! Doing this is the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I think you will find it the case in your life.

Hey Emerson!

Hey Emerson!

So I guess it is a matter of doing it from the very start relaxed and if one feels its getting very tense stopping relaxing and going again?

I amazes me that even without ejaculation I get hangover symptoms, but sometimes I don't even feel if I am that over heated?

Like yesterday, I was showering with my partner, and we ended up putting our genitals together while standing up, very little movement, and I was just looking into her eyes and caressing her, getting in touch with those loving feelings, but after a few minutes I feel like my body says please separate, you are not ready for intercourse yet. We go to bed and I feel very weird, a mix between relaxed but distant, but not at the same time. It's definitely not the same as a proper hangover after an orgasm, but more like a semi one. (I am still going through a 2 week passion cycle from a wet dream, it is supposed to ends tonight)

However, I did start from a

However, I did start from a place of not feeling relaxed but rather a background static of anxiety I always have inside me. sometimes I feel like that anxiety in my belly is in between feeling her and being felt by her while doing this. Nevertheless, if she gives me hugs or if I lay on top of her skin to skin that usually makes the anxiety dissapear, i get its the oxytocin at work.

it's not just you

It's taken us a LONG time to find our way around the hazard of overheating. I think the Exchanges (from Cupid's Poisoned Arrow) would be a really good roadmap. My partner isn't too keen on the highly structured format, so we haven't gone that route, but I think they are designed with ground rules to help you explore the ways to exchange energy without getting too hot.

Yes!! I agree, having the

Yes!! I agree, having the structured format helps rewiring a very fixed way of doing things. It takes time for sure. I am very impatient, trying to change something i have been doing for years in 1 month haha..

Congrats on going down the

Congrats on going down the Karezza path. It has made a huge difference for me, and made me a better husband of 27 years.

I think your body will adapt to your change in lovemaking style. Things that cause hangover now will be less apt to do so in time. Things that put you over the edge now will be much less apt to do so in time. That has been my experience.

Keep up the great work for you and your partner. I am confident you will find it most worthwhile.

Thank you John.

Thank you John.

I feel the same, I think it is a matter of rewiring a lot of things going inside me. It is just sometimes overwhelming to not ejaculate and still get these feelings of emotional flatness and distant and just a semi hungover passion cycle thing going on.

I blame mainly not doing the exchanges for the three weeks as a routine which would have helped rewiring the brain. Now, I only have 1 week left with my partner before we separate given geographical reasons so it is very sad I cannot continue exploring this with her.