♥Incorporating the karezza into my new potential relationship

Submitted by RayNeDaYPiXiE on
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So, there is this guy that I've been seeing for four months. He's away now overseas but he's coming home in March. We've kept in contact and I've even mentioned my recent reading on the karezza :D When I brought it up he acknowledged it as peaking as many times as possible, but I moved him towards the fact that it's not about going OVER, and emphasizing more of the emotional bonding side of things as well. I guess I am wondering the best way to incorporate the practices of the karezza without him feeling like I'm forcing things. I'm thinking on the side of when sex comes up I need tell him that I won't go all the way with a guy until we're in committed relationship and explaining something to the effect of what I am looking for in terms of relationships too (karezza) and why I am looking for that. Do you all think this would be a good approach to it?

I also have some miscellaneous questions about karezza...

Cupid's poisoned arrow talks about how orgasm is the poison. If we have karezza sex and he masturbates later to orgasm - will that create a negative impact on our relationship as having orgasmic sex would inevitably do? And... can karezza be incorporated into fetishes that partners may explore?

Thank youuuu's :D

Hi Benedict

That's an interesting name for a female. How did you happen to choose it?

Did you read through this thread? You may find some useful ideas. http://www.reuniting.info/node/7207

Personally, I think it's good to give potential partners some information and let them think about it in advance. Most people are stunned or furious when they first contemplate the idea of sex without orgasm. Smile So they need time to think about the ideas. If you spring it on him, his initial bafflement or fury will be projected onto you. Better he blame some "other weirdos" than you. Wink

What are his interests? There are different ways to approach the subject: paleo diet parallels, neuroscience, esoteric traditions that encouraged careful cultivation of sexual energy.

The name is a reference to

The name is a reference to the movie Cruel Intentions in which one of the main characters Katheryn is pictured in Sebastian's journal. Honestly it was the first thing that came to mind and coupled with the fact I was eager to hurry up and post. I do find myself wanting to modify it though. Can that be done?

Yes, I introduced it to him while we were talking one day, but since it was the first time I brought it up I kept it brief, but the conversation went back to how much he missed the time we were intimate before he left and he spent time reminiscing through details during our conversation. He thought the fact we both climaxed simultaneously to be very exciting (this was of course before I learned of karezza). I did order Cupid's Poisoned Arrow already too! So hopefully we can read them together or I can lend it to him. I've thought about using all those approaches you've mentioned in one. Like comparing the orgasm to the sweet pie that tastes great but puts you to sleep in a sugar crash afterwards, that orgasms zap your energy and induce the coolidge effect (and explain this) and cause unraveling and disharmony between partners, and finally how different cultures have addressed what has been known. Hopefully this will work! I wasn't able to find the answer on the site, but if my partner climaxes on the side, will that trigger the habituation reflex you've described? I would wish to avoid that!

Good for you laying the groundwork

Hard to say what will happen if he climaxes on the side. But most guys here notice that when they cut out masturbation (while rebooting) they find their partners much more delicious. It kind of depends on how much he desensitizes his brain...and each person is a bit different.

Will you two be living together?

I can change your name in a flash. Just PM me with your choice. (Click on my name to send me a private message.)

Living situation

Sorry for the delayed reply. I just got your book! I am planning on moving into a new house sometime in the next two months or so, in the meantime I'm sure we will be living apart. Does that have anything to do with habituation? Proximity to me when he climaxes on his own? I suppose that will make sense if that's the case. Truth to tell I'm feeling a bit guilty because he has been asking me for pictures while he's away, and I sent him some cutesy ones, and one artsy black and white nude once a couple months ago. I'm not pulling back the string for the dart, am I by sending him pictures? I suppose he's going to "alleviate" himself while he's alone. I haven't revisted the subject of Karezza with him yet, but I am batting back and forth on whether or not I should wait until he gets home before I bring it up again in conversation, or should I?