1/3 into reboot. Stuffed it.

Submitted by bw2011 on
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Ok. I need some help. I avoided PMO for a full month in December. Almost all of January and I've stuffed it repeatedly. About every 10 days or so since then. The desire builds up and I blow it. How does this habit just so easily wipe out reason and completely obliterate self control?!

I'm stunned. Fair enough dopamine's going crazy but I don't even want the thrill anymore. I hate using porn and it's really hard to wipe out the gay desire, I get sucked into that crap because I don't like seeing girls used in porno's. Stupid really. I just want to think straight and move on in life. It's like a subconscious call back to what I really don't want.

How does everyone work themselves out and get over it? Surely you're thinking differently about porn? Can someone explain their attitude to it?
Like once the desire kicks in, what do you say to yourself?

I'm no expert in this but is there something else that can be done to get a high (without drugs) and stop using porn?

abstinence from orgasm really helps

it's not rocket science. If you aren't touching your penis to get off, then your brain begins to rewire. Hopefully you are able to have some loving physical affection short of sex with a partner. That makes it so much easier.

Porn fades away. The brain replaces those pathways that lead to porn, with pathways that lead to something much more powerful, a loving physical relationship. Fantasies begin to fade away. A distant memory.

It's there if you see some trigger so you always have to be careful. It's like an alcoholic that quit who can't have a drink or he'll binge. You just can't have a drink. You have to be really careful, probably for the rest of your life.

The key is abstinence from orgasm and replacing the porn with loving non-orgasmic physical relationship with a partner when that's possible. If that's not possible, start with abstinence from orgasm (and obviously from all porn) and get all keyed up and desiring contact and channel that by going out and talking to real women.

One thing I think is really helpful if you are worried about turning gay: it's great to be cool with whatever thoughts your mind dredges up. If you resist them really strongly they remain. If you're okay with them they tend to pass through.

I'm not talking about fantasy. A quick fantasy such as a gay visual or whatever is something you want to let pass, it's totally cool, but if you are dwelling on it, if you find yourself stuck on it, then you want to use techniques like the Red X

see http://yourbrainonporn.com/other-techniques-for-rewiring