Submitted by MJ Consciousness on
Printer-friendly version

Im 140 days in, and I feel weird. I was in several depression stages, then they went away, I hope it had to do something with the winter, and no sunlight. But now, after months of not wathcing porn its harder than it was 2 months ago, or in the beignning, and also I dindt touch myself in 4 months yet I had 10 or so orgamsm, just by thinking, one I jsut had not even thinking anymore it just came. And I hate this because I dont want to lose a drop of semen ,also I feel like shit everytime this happens. Also whats weird the positive effects arent so much there anymore, Im more anxious sometimes I feel, I have no motiviation to do ANYTHING i dont want to do NOTHING the only tjhing I want is to have sex, yet theres no one around, and in my mental states its almost impossible to get to know somebody Im way too unpatient at the moment, cant hold conversations really, bevause Im simply not interested, I jsut want sex, and I feel ashamed for this, so it will never work. ALL THE SHIT I felt before, when I was watching this porn crap, now its all coming back after 4 months what the fuck is this I really want it to stop and be normal again. Im really thinking about just starting to watch it again, so at least theres SOME fun in my life, even if its for some seconds,. this is no life. not even smoking weed gives me satisfaction im in a constant depression

WTF? How do you orgasm just

WTF? How do you orgasm just by thinking of sex? Are you touching urself while doing this? Are you filling the void left by no PMO? Exercise, meditation, hobbies, reading, socializing, sports? Also, if you want to avoid the ejaculation, do kegel exercises. There are countless reports about them helping one last longer with a partner, so it has to help with the fantasy related nut busting. Ummm, there may be graphic pictures of penises if you do research on them, so be warned about possible triggers. If you go back to P youll just be back to the start- feel like crap, say abstinence is the answer and continue the cycle. Fill the void!

No didnt touch, the thought

No didnt touch, the thought jsut ebcame so real, the erection so to say so big that I ejaculated so this is what I meant. But now after 140 days I MO-d but didnt watch any movie so no P is still on. But still Im depressed, and now Im back on day 0 in my count cause I wanked. And lost semen. Tomorrow probably will suck. But now Im even more tdetermined, going for a second chunk which should be the rest of my life.
the sun is shinig and spring is coming, which on one hand makes it harder to control ecerything, on the other hand the whole process is faster because of the sunlight. Yeah I exercise, and have friends etc could go out should go out, but thats the point somehow Im in a deression where its "hard" for me to get put of the house even though the sun is shining and I had stuff to do I search for excuses . maybe I just smoke too much. but it sucks. but maybe its the rewiring itself and IM stuck somewhere and it just lasts too long for me or whatever