145 days and only little advances

Submitted by motorcycleboy on
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Hi all, I'm here to give you a little update on how it's going. After all, now 145 days have passed and I have to admit, sadly, that the big bang hasn't happened yet and that I'm a little bit dissapointed now, honestly spoken.

I mean, 145 days is a lot more than all of the successful rebooters needed, right?

OK there's no way back to porn, really not, as there are advantages after all, but I was really hoping that I maybe would be cured after let's say 120 days finally.

I still have good nighttime erections most of the nights, I recognize them when I wake up or in a kind of half-awake/half-dreaming condition at night sometimes. They range from quite hard to stonehard and I'm glad they are there because I didn't had them in my porn-use times for sure.

I have good sex like every weekend, which is of course not that much but at least it is fulfilling and I didn't have had a single failure in this tries. I don't get 100% hard alone, but often between 60 and 80% and getting a full erection is not the big thing from this state - this was often a lot harder to reach before.

two examples: I was in holidays with my girlfriend and we were using a pool in a cellar and then taking a shower there and we had sex there in this shower, which was really really cool. OK it was for me at least an uncommon place and maybe it was more uneasy to get an erection but it was there, then shortly before entering it left, but I was able to get it up again and have a little playtime after all, we have both been satisfied and I never had this kind of "spontanous" sex in a place like this.

Also, this weekend, we were having superb sex, I was heavily aroused, my penis was like 80% up in the beginning and I had only little work to do to have it "ready" :) Then it was stonehard and I had absolútely no problems with changing positions, taking a little time out without fearing to lose erection etc., it was really nice.

So I'd call this advantages! But, after all, keep in mind I wasn't masturbating for one week every time I had sex. So of course I was getting more easily aroused, I'd say.

When masturbating (I only do this every three weeks one time or so and without porn or any help, just some lube :) ) I still find it hard to get an erection, it needs some time.

I don't think that I would have been able to have sex like this without leaving porn behind. But still, I really want to be through with this. It's really annoying.

In my daily routing I must say I am much more calm, more easy, more concentrated, more funny and more relaxed towards people, I speak much more calm and are much more respected at work for example.

Are there people who also had very long rebooting runs? I'd really need some encouragement on my way.

Are there reports from rebootants who needed the same or more time to reboot and finally rebootet after all this time?

Sincerly yours!!

fantastic progress

You had trouble with even getting an erection with regular sex and now you have had some great sex. And you started porn pretty early in your life. So you are doing great considering all that.

Just continue being patient. The direction is very positive. I wouldn't expect to be 100% yet. I think your progress is incredibly good. Just keep staying away from porn and minimizing masturbation and it's very helpful to snuggle and cuddle a lot. Are you doing a lot of that bonding stuff?

Bonding behaviors really speed up recovery and make it much easier. 30 minutes or more a day of snuggling and cuddling does magic.

Also, it is much better to get into a mindset where you aren't testing your erections. I think of my penis as a separate "person" and he does what he does. It's a surprise to me and I just wait and see what happens. I say "trust the penis". If it wants to be erect, that's best. If it doesn't, that's fine with me.

Soft entry works great too. If you don't have an erection, did you know you can insert your penis (or she can) and put it in her vagina that way? It is a very fun thing to do, and often times it becomes hard. But even if it doesn't you can kind of hang out. And the experience of having your penis go erect inside her is really cool both for you and for her.

So not having an erection is nothing bad anyway. That takes the pressure off and makes sex really enjoyable as you just see what happens and don't worry about a "result."

Soft entry

This was kindly explained to me a few weeks ago, but if memory serves me correctly, I'm sure I read somewhere that trying to force penetration in too much of a flacid state can damage the penis.

Has any one heard of this, or is my memory just playing tricks with me....it would have been many, many years since i read this, if i did at all....may be i just made it up lol.

I havent PMOd since last October, but have MOd to fantasy chats/binges. Which i know are not good. I'm going to move forward on re-wiring to women now quite aggressively over next few months.

I have no idea how many days last October is, my mind now realises it does not matter, if PMO abstinence is a permanent way of life for me, It does not really matter, I will try re-wiring and not stop until i am fully cured, be that 1 week or 2 more years, I dont care, nothing will take me off my trajectory (ie will never PMO again).

Vis

Visage wrote:

[quote=Visage]This was kindly explained to me a few weeks ago, but if memory serves me correctly, I'm sure I read somewhere that trying to force penetration in too much of a flacid state can damage the penis. Has any one heard of this, or is my memory just playing tricks with me...[/quote]

nah, that is completely untrue.

 

Maybe you read something about

the man vigorously forcing a partial erection into his partner. I would think that could potentially be painful if his erection "bent."

Soft-entry, as taught in Tantric Sex For Men is a different process entirely. Genitals are lubed (organic almond oil recommended as it is nontoxic and doesn't mess up the sheets), and the woman "pops the penis in" by holding it gently between forefinger and middle finger.

We tried it, and I can promise you both lots of giggles. Also, it has never failed to inspire an actual erection (at least in Gary's non-desensitized brain).

I can't imagine that this practice could harm anyone, as there's no painful bending possible.

Yes

That was it!! i guess i got it the wrong way around, it's not if it is too flaccid, but too hard...or perhaps just in that funny semi state .....where i live Smile