55 day report

Submitted by BJJ-BB on
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Ok, so a similar story to most on here. Once I stumbled upon YBOP a ton of bells and whistles went off and i felt super relieved. In my history with girls had a few steady GFs and lots of 1 night stands 2-3 month relationships, etc. The porn/MO enduced ED became more of a problem of late, but I always blamed it on drinking or soemthing if I didn't have succesful sex first few times- then Id find a way to loose interest, break away, etc. If I could get by the first few attempts Id be more or less ok though- but never would be ready to go at drop of a hat htough- needed stimulation, etc. Even Oral sex was tough- but regular intercourse generaly needed certain positions + to be controlling the rhythm. I did find myself staying in soemtimes and could have 2 )sometimes 3) PMO sessions easily a night- on wknds could be from 3-4.

Began M + O and some P too around 13 or so, am 32 now. At least w/ M + O it began simply w/ fantasy, then mags, then DVDs, but escalated to internet the the last few years or so. And not to mention some escalations into some really raunchy stuff- I was def ashamed and embarrased but it was the only thing that worked. So I think fair to say it was the problem. I did mix in fantasy though usually so perhaps that spared me some problems wherein this could have been worse. The ED from this has been hit or miss, sometimes not a major problem (or at least totally embarrasing, but I have had those episodes too, trust me). THose peisodes are def more frequent the last 7 years or so, again its hit or miss, but was always somethign in back of my mind and kept me away from going after girls too. I almost always needed stimulation, and usually oral wouldnt cut it. And it seemed like the dirtier or unatractive the girl was, the less the P.E.D was a problem. Go figure. last few years have def been kinda a bum w/ little motivation and seemed like I was always tired, needed naps, etc, enjoyed being alone, maybe a little down overall, didn't try for good looking girls really. Also, my hangovers after drinking were miserable- almost to the point where I almost stopped drinking. but PMO seemed to actually help me feel normal after a big night of boozing. Not kidding! Pathetic I know. I also seemed to be able to perform better w/ girls the next day after a big night out- 10+ drinks. Go figure.

I tried accupuncture + Maca, Ginseng for a while b4 I discovered the reboot, and seemed to help actually somewhat, but not always. Had also tried to obstain from PMO in the past but not in the form of a full reboot bc I didn't know what it was. Realized too I had low Vitamin D levels, which seeems to perhaps be a factor. I could always get up w/ P though or just fantasy but when mixed in real girls/situations it was a roll of the dice. And def something that bothered me + kept me from being myself.

Obervations:

week 1-2: I was estatic, soo hapy to find out this could be solved. Very high energy, positive, and the brain fog started to clear. That is a very underrated positive of this whole thing. A clear mind is HUGE! Hangovers after drinking were much less, I could pop up and go jogging if I wanted to. Exercise regiment was great and soon felt noticably stronger, see definitiion in abs, etc. No real urges for PMO. Communicated much better w/ everyone. Minor mood swings but manageable. AM and nightly wood came back!

Week 3-4: couple of those headaches we all read about. The high energy productivity slowed down but I was just really content overall. Felt calm. AM wood was fairly consistent. Felt in control, began hittign that DD stage at some point. But then kinda snapped out of it a little w/ some urges for real girls, etc. Most of my fantasy the first few weeks was on real/attainable girls, which was good I thought. But I was impressed w/ the fact that I had no urge for P, a little for M,O though. Continued success w/ exercise +Tried to limit fantasy too. Got out alot and socialized (very important).

Week 5-6: sort of a lull, no huge gains but the nightly and Am wood was there still about 50% of the time. but no spantaeneous really, but could feel some tingle or something now and then. Thats the part I really want back though. But I could get semi 50=60 percent maybe just fantasizing though and sometimes a little movement even texting w/ girls. No real urges for anything really so perhaps a return of the flatline. Kinda feel like I've been in it for a while actually. *its day 55 now*

Thoughts:

Origionally thought 30+ days would be good but I relaize process takes longer. Am aiming for 60 days and maybe more. I have to admit I am a little apprehensive about trying out my new self with a girl, so I wanna wait til more healing. I don't think I am healed per se but its getting better, I think. I am a little frustrated, I also realize that we're all not gonna walk around with a rager and ready to bang at drop of a hat- would be nice tho. Overall, this process has not been that hard for me. But its not over. I've really only had 1x full 100% erection at night maybe around day 35. But AM ercts are probably 60%. I guess technically I am not done w/ the reboot (merely 60% through) but I am getting a little anxious. I think this last stretch of 35 days or so will be the toughest bc I am expecting that breakthrough. The first 20+ were easy and actually enjoyable. So i guess I keep going on. I am hoping though this is the quiet before the storm.

Any observations or comments would be greatly appreciated and this forum and YBOP, and YBRB have been great and an inspiration for me. So thanks to you all!

Thanks for sharing your story

It sounds like you're actually doing quite well. You're lucky because you didn't start out on highspeed porn. Two months may be all you need.

I think it's normal to feel a bit apprehensive when you first get back in the saddle. Try to take it slowly. Maybe just try some skin-to-skin without sex for a time or two. You're not a stud horse. You're a man. Acute

Have you visited YOURBRAINREBALANCED.COM? It was started by guys from here.

Glad you found YBOP useful. (Gary's my husband in case you didn't already know.)

Hi marnia- yep, I've visited

Hi marnia- yep, I've visited before and I like, this is a good site too. They all have been super helpful, especially in the earlier days of this journey. So I guess it is possible then to go in and out of flatline stage or never feel that huge rush of libido within the first two months?

Yeah I am suprised with how easy the first few weeks went, I felt like a new person, my laundry has never been cleaner neither has my house- I journaled for the first month or so but have kinda shyed away from that recently. Didn't mean to write so much but was hoping that some of my notes/details would be useful to others. I've def also felt much more willing to approach girls and get to know them better- and I think I could really tell their responses/body language seemed genuine. Amazing what vibe I must have gave off before- prob like a total douch/creep LOL. Thanks for getting back to me and for all you guys do- you're really a great resource. Trust me I've tried alot before and I think a few times I've even thought about abstaining (almost like Pavlov and the Dog) and just be ready for real experiences. Thanks for your comments too- assuming I appear to be on track?