70 days without anything... now i've binged. Do I lose everything?!

Submitted by possibility on
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I went a full 70+ days without PMO or any sort of sexual fantasy. It felt incredible, I felt truly alive. I was getting better, now I may have thrown it all away. Very upset with myself right now... Binge on Monday, 3 times. Tuesday I felt fine, had morning wood, figured it was just a little hiccup and I would keep going. Now today (wed) I just binged 3 times. I noticed my erections very very strong the first binge, and stayed up without any effort. This binge required constant novelty to maintain erection. Obviously I can't allow myself to slip again now. I'm really worried that I've lost all my progress. I was making incredible progress and now it feels like I've thrown it all away. Am I really back to square one now? I think I know what did it - over the weekend I had a wet dream, the next day I felt incredible urge to view porn. I viewed a thumbnail for like half a second and said no. Then next day, binge. How could a wet dream mess me up so terribly?

Relax

What you're learning is important. Addicts often find that they have to stay away from problem stimuli for a very long time (no researchers yet know how long).

Also, it pays to learn to be on guard during the days after ejaculation...especially at first.

Now is the time for strong measures.

Block access on your devices.

RED X

Cold water technique

More advice here: Rebooting Advice & Observations

Realize that withdrawal hurts. There's no quick fix of your addiction that will EVER help you--for more than a moment. Wink So stop rationalizing it.

No, you haven't lost everything. You've just taught yourself an important lesson.

That said...when you're stuck in a hole the first thing to do is to STOP DIGGING.

*big hug*

 

My internet blocker failed me

My internet blocker failed me that was the other big issue. I feel I was so close to normality it's so frustrating. I've never gotten this far before and I've been at this struggle for almost 2 years. Feels never ending. I'm moving soon so hopefully a change will do me some good and I can get it back together again. I keep fighting for 90 days and I just can't quite seem to make it! If a smoker quits for 70 days and then smokes a pack it's probably not as detrimental as this addiction is.

In this process

it's best to be pleased with your overall progress than to focus too much on the "blips." Yes, the cravings are worse for a bit, but you don't lose everything. Just keep going.

I wouldn't worry at all

If you have gone 70 days strait, and saw some very clear signs of improvement, a binge is not going to take that all away from you. The brain has a way of picking up where it left off. After giving it a few days, you'll notice you will start feeling the way you did at day 70 again. Occasional relapses after long stretches of abstinence is just like taking two steps forward, one step back. For you, however, its more like taking ten steps forward, and one step back. You shouldn't stress over one step backward after you already took all these steps forward. Staying positive will help. Beating yourself up can lead to losing your willpower and relapse again.

How is your progress so far?