Last night, I was with my girlfriend. We had sex, and after that, when I got to my place, I didn't go to sleep, but resorted to my "favorite" habit again. I knew that it would be smart to go straight to bed, and still didn't do it. Today, I wasted the whole day watching porn and masturbating.
There is a video about porn addiction that uses the acronym "BLAST". That stands for "bored, lonely, angry, stressed, tired". Those are the situations where we are most vulnerable to relapsing. I was too tired to resist the urge. That is something that happened to me many times. And I knew that it would happen. I need a lot of work on my will. Now, I feel like sh*t. I feel so confused and tired, and can't concentrate on anything. The worst thing is that I have so much to do, and I'm wasting my time and energy on porn and masturbation.
I'm so tired of being a slave to this habit. Last time I started abstaining, I didn't have any goal, and lasted for 8 days. Today, I'm setting a goal:
100 DAYS WITHOUT PORN AND MASTURBATION!
I will try and use all possible techniques to achieve this. All suggestions are welcome.