To be attracted, to seduce, to see s/one as a sexual object.

Submitted by youngoldie on
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During trying karezza, my wife often was not very open to it. She said she was not feeling much and it was boring for her. She also saw my pleasure during connection. And she knew that I was not keen to give her orgasms. Now I tried out soemthing new:

13 days w/out O. And I had a very busy sex life. 4 times ins 24 hours, and we used some of them. Not really planned, I just changed my approach and were open for it.

We watched two "make love" series now actually running on MDR / Germany. A danish sexologist talked very freely about sex, how to improve the relationship and how to talk with kids about it. She showed even some screenshots of movie channels and youporn and what kids are seeing they reach there by chance.

One thing she said about sex was interesting. She said: You dont't screw around with someone you care for. Being sexually attracted from someone or to be seduced from someone seems to be a part of the game. I talked with my wife about that and if she would like to be seduced and defeated and talked into sex. If she would like to be a sex object. She said yes, always. Hmmm. I was really surprised. And I turned into a Casanova/Don Giovanni/PUA and used every chance to do it. Remember, im old, somehow fat and limping :o 8).

So I dropped my idea (or my bad conscience) that I don't arouse her enough and just told her about my desire and what I wanted to do with her. And how I love her and how I'm attracted to her. Even sort of talking oneself into sex... And we did it. I had no orgasm, but were somehow close sometimes. My wife asked for orgasms and I gave it to her.

Okay we were really on the wild side. I was not caring much for my wifes feeling. I just told her my desire and what i wanted to do and how I enjoyed it. She liked it but asked for an orgasm during evey occasion. i'm not shure how it will turn out. But: The longer we try aound with Karezza, the more senitive she is, the more active she is, and she get orgasms easier. We have also longer and more often sex. And this "the best sex in life-feeling". is happening often. So the normal sex has improved.

I am wondering if she first has to find out and to enjoy the aspects of "normal" or hot sex? I had tried to aviod to give her orgasms. But even during this time she was bitchy or not interested in sex, even without orgasms for some weeks.

For me there seems to be a connection between Orgasms and my overall feeling. Now after 13 days without O or watching nudity I feel very well and have erections easily. So I will check out how my wife (oh, and me as well) is performing the next weeks.

yes indeed

My wife has more frequent orgasms now that i do Karezza. It is sometimes (always) a bit challenging for me not to go over the edge when she is coming, but I generall don't. I have very, very few orgasms but she has more than she used to.

We have sex for a much longer time, much more often, than we ever did even when we first met. 

And I at least feel more flirty and bring sex into our dialogs and interactions all the time. Our seduction comes to, "wanna lie down?" or similar "code phrase" where lie down equals have sex. There isn't any artifice to it, although there is often some fun and laughter.

Also, we cuddle and hold hands and connect at every possible time now. Which we didn't do so much before.

I think a woman may have to go through a period of more orgasms more often before she is ready to embrace Karezza, if she is ever ready. But she benefits from YOUR Karezza just as much as you do, even if she continues having orgasms. That's my experience. We both benefit. My entire life is SO much better now as a result of this, and I think hers is too. She is calmer and more even tempered and happier, I think. And good things happen to us more often now.





I once read

a yoga site where this question was asked and the guru/advice giver said to let the woman have as many orgasms as she wants and eventually she'll synch up with her partner (or not...).

That's why I'm not dogmatic, even though I'm a strong advocate for both partners experimenting with a period of no climax. Personally, I like having my personality on a more even keel (and so does Gary... Smile ). But people need to figure out what works for them and their mates, and be prepared for things to shift over time. Sexual energy is a dynamic energy in various respects.

Thanks for sharing your experience.

same applies to me

Same thing applied to my wife and I, but for my wife, she can only climax by touch, using my hands and tongue and never by convectional way( penis in side a vigina)She prefers she comes first, as she says ladies first, then after coming she shows complete disinterest in sex or any cuddling. If i go inside her and have sex before she cums she will be less participatory and it feels like am forcing myself on her. I wish i knew how to overcome this