Changes in my sexual biology

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Submitted by Louie on
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About a year ago I decided to work with Taoist sexual methods, and part of that was semen retention. In the beginning I found it very hard to go without an ejaculation for more than a few days. It seemed like the itch became very strong at about day 4, and by day 5 it was driving me nuts and I had to release the tension. I had read that it takes 100 days without ejaculation to properly open the body's internal channels so I was very frustrated with my inability to go even one week. For a while I gave up on even trying.

In January of this year I decided to have another go at it. I had read that it is easier to conserve sexual energy in the winter. I was able to go 15 days which was a huge success for me. However, near the end of that cycle I was getting really hot. I would sweat for no reason and I felt somewhat manic all the time. I also had a huge case of blue balls. I decided to ejaculate and felt a huge rush of hot energy through my whole body when I did it. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was red like I had been running on a hot day or something. However, I felt like a million bucks ... for about one hour. Then I crashed hard. My eneregy levels bottomed out for a few days and it took longer than normal to get back to feeling good. That experience scared me and I decided to give up semen retention again for a while. However, in the back of my mind I was still thinking about it. I had not given up entirely.

Fast forward to April. One day there was some blood in my urine. I also had a burning sensation in the urethra. I told my wife and she said that I needed to get tested for a urinary tract infection. The results came back negative. Everything was good. However, the symptoms continued. I felt like I had to pee all the time. It was worse after drinking coffee or alcohol. I went back to get tested again. The results showed that there was no infection, but there was semen in the urine. They told me that was OK. It was normal for some semen to go into the bladder since the bladder is in the same "plumbing" network as the seminal vessels.

After that I started paying attention to my urine and I noticed that it looked quite different. It was always somewhat cloudy. Over time the burning sensation calmed down, but it never quite went away. Then there came a day where my whole urethra felt very sensitive like I was on the verge of an orgasm all day. I was at work and I was starting to wonder if I was going to have an involuntary ejaculation or something. It was bizzare. I went to the washroom to deal with it. I decided to void my bowels first. While I was sitting there I felt an odd sensation and a plop of fluid fell out of my penis into the toilet. It was semen. Not a lot of it. Just about a tea spoon. Then another plop came. After that, my urethra cleaned itself out and the sensations all went away.

I went back to my desk and did a Google search. I found some info on the AYP Tantra forums (Advanced Yoga Practices) about semen in the urine. The writer said that this was natural. As one advanced on the path of tantra more and more of the semen would be processed through the bladder rather than being ejaculated. I did some reading elsewhere and decided that this was how my body was going deal with the issue of semen build up.

After observing my body becoming more and more proficient at this for a few months, I recently decided to give semen retention another go. My wife and I had sex, then I did not ejaculate again until the next time we had sex (ten days later) and felt no real discomfort. The second time that we had sex I noticed that I had to remind myself to have an orgasm after she did. That has never happened before. Previously I was fighting to stay ahead of orgasm the whole time. This time the pressure was greatly reduced. Since then we have not had a chance to have sex, so I decided to just see how long this would go. I am at day 19 now with no real discomfort. Yesterday I felt hot and decided maybe I should ejaculate. I went to the batroom to do it, and my body refused to comply. I could not get an erection. It did not matter what I fantacized about, it was not interested in ejaculating. Shortly after that it released some semen into the bladder. I felt it happen. I went to the washroom and sure enough, a few dolops of semen came out in my urine. It was not nearly as much as I would have lost in an ejaculation, but the heat went away and has not come back. In fact, I felt very good for the rest of the day. No energy crash. I felt nice and balanced.

So, it seems that my body has taken over the responsibility for managing its own sexual energy and fluids. It releases what it needs to release when it needs to release it, and refuses to do any big dumps. I knew from my spiritual practices that the body has its own intelligence, but I never expected it to assert itself like that. Has anyone else experienced anything similar?

On a related note, over the past 19 days I have cuddled my wife a couple of times. In both cases I felt warm energy moving from me into her. After one of these energy movements I would feel her relax and sometimes she would sigh in a very contented way. Afterward she would be very affectionnate. It seems that I have evolved in some way that I have yet to fully understand.

fascinating

I haven't noticed this. I haven't ejaculated for about 8 months. When we cuddle I sometimes drip pre-cum. Haven't had any wet dreams or sign of semen so I suppose it is re-absorbing itself into my body that way. Amazing how intelligent our bodies really are.

Thanks for sharing that

My view is that there is a lot to learn about  this other approach to managing sexual energy. The more we share our experiences, the more we'll see the possible range of bodily responses.

For us, regular sex, even without much orgasm, seems to prevent any build up.

How old are you? Think age is a factor?

Thanks for the replies

I am 38 years old, and I have always had a very high libido. As a teenager I masturbated constantly and I think that I trained my body to produce copious amounts of semen in order to keep up. It is worth noting that I started getting grey hair at 16 years old. A few years ago an older co-worker guessed that I was 45 years old. I was 35 at the time. That goes to show how badly I drained myself.

Since I started working with semen retention I have become physically younger again. My eyes and skin have lustre again and I have no problems keeping weight off. I sleep less, eat less, and have more energy. However, I think that the semen in my urine shows that I still have some adjustments to make.

In my solo tantra I edge quite a bit. I go right up against the edge of orgasm and then back away. This probably causes semen to escape from the vessels and move into the urethra. Since it is not released, it has to go into the bladder. I thought I was doing great just by avoiding ejaculation, but perhaps I can do better.

I have resolved to stop edging. I will stay well clear of those states of high arousal. Perhaps this will plug the leak and allow me to go to the next level.

ED

No, ED is not a problem. I get frequent erections and my morning wood is pretty consistent, especially since I started working with semen retention.

If I might suggest...

the Taoist monks had a therapeutic non-sexual physical energy sort of "redistribution" practice, that is incredibly easy to either engage in on one's own, or with a apartner's assistance. It can be a form of bonding behavior in a partner setting, and does not tend to provoke overheated arousal, if any arousal at all. It is something I looked into and started when I first had to deal with post-vasectomy epididymal ruptures on the testicles, an occasionally recurring problem. It's a combination of relaxing, gentle circulation increase, works quite well.

Energy exchange

I have decided to go to the next level in my sexual practices. I have eliminated porn (which was minimal anyway) and sexual fantasy (which was a bigger problem). I have also stopped edging. If I do self-arouse I do it just to get energy moving and then I will the energy to distribute through the body. I stop well short of any orgasm or even a ramp up to orgasm. I seem to be getting better at this.

More important to me is the chnage I have noticed in my cuddling. I have not ejaculated in about 30 days, although as I said, some semen has been lost in my urine. The last three days I have cuddled my wife in the morning. Each time I snuggled up to her, put my arm around her, and then just relaxed. In my mind I told myself to just be calm, comfortable and relaxed, and let flow what needs to flow. Each time she fell back to sleep.

On each of the three occassions I experimented with sending her warm, loving energy. Each time she responded very strongly. I would just will my warm masculine energy to go to her, and I would feel it going. Then I would feel her react by moving a bit and sighing. The movements were small, and could have been random, but I swear they corresponded with my intentions for her to feel how much I love her.

My wife is not a morning person. She typically waked up grumpy. However, on each of these three occassions she woke up in a very good mood. Each time she turned and cuddled me right back. When the kids came in she showered affection on them.

It is amazing how much you can affect someone just by holding them and sending them love. I would never have believed such a thing could work until I experienced it first hand.

By the way, I have tried the same experiment before without the same results. Perhaps the semen retention has made the energy more potent.

In my opinion, karezza works because it is an energy practice. You get lots of yin and yang exchange without the spike and dip of orgasm. I fully accept the science of dopamine, oxytocin and prolactin, but I also think these are just the physical manifestations of things happening on multiple levels. I am very excited about trying this with actual intercourse, but I am in no hurry. For now, this cuddling thing is such a cool new experience that I am happy at this level. This is like step 1 in a process.

Great story

Yes, I think you're right that a lot of things - and perhaps the most important bits - are happening at even subtler levels. The neurochemistry explanations are just as close as we can get within the current knowledge limits.

Nothing is more empowering that realizing you can consciously make it possible for someone to bring out the best in themselves. Sounds corny perhaps, but it's just great for all concerned.

PS

We're thinking of creating a second karezza forum here for discussions about the energetic aspects of the practice. Any thoughts on that? I don't like unnecessary splits, but it might be useful to focus a bit.

Yin and Yang

I understand that not everyone believes in energy practices. In our fact/science oriented society people want to know what is going to happen physically. The physical is something they can trust, thus, I agree with the focus on neuro chemicals in your book. However, the whole time I was reading it I was thinking about yin and yang energy practices.

I am not sure that you need a separate forum for the energetic aspects of karezza. People like me will drop bits in here and there. Some people will follow it up and others will ignore it. It dosen't really matter. If they do karezza then energy will be exchanged and all is good. The beauty of yin and yang is that they are always moving whether you believe in them or not. Of course, it is much more powerful if you actually do believe and can work with them consciously.

Many people will start out thinking this is is entirely about neuro chemcials and then will wonder what these warm and wonderful sensations are in their nervous system. They will start asking questions and will learn that there is much more to it than they suspected.

I'll look

when I have some time this evening - if it is not included in the ones you provided link to, I will certainly give you the information on it.

Interesting

I started having burning sansations in my penis at the time I started meditation. Its like you feel you have an infection and it is really uncomfortable. I also went to doctors and they never found anything apart from some cristals of something which I dont know how to say in english, but they said it was due to excessive meat comsuption. Then the burning continued and I found a way to sooth it a little by drinking a lot of water so I thought maybe it was something related to eating too much salt. I cut it off from my diet and nothing, so as I havent been able to find a pattern I think it has something to do with all this changes, as you say, in my sexual biology. Maybe a metabolic waste of some kind, I dunno. I did have a radical change in my body so maybe Im right. Oh, I almost forget! I thought the burning was in the "head" of the penis (also dont know the word in english) but I touched it to find where it was located and strangely it was in the exact place where the chakra is. How weird, huh?
About you looking red...This also happened to me. 4 times actually, also after i started meditation and it was bad. In fact, i had to go to the hospital a couple of times because of this. They told me i had an allergic reaction and gave me decadron, and again its weird because I dont have any known allergy apart from polem (which only makes me sneeze) and it wasnt spring when the reactions happened.