I cant believe that for the past 16 days Ive been relapsing on and off instead of continuing.
I have no urges or cravings to do it, in fact I find it kind of repulsive.
These ones arent even relapses, but they do take away my sexual energy the little I have, and put me in debt.
I cant go on without support. I really need help and advice from you guys and Marnia here.
I hate doing it but while doing it I just cant put it away.
I really want to let it go once and for all and go all the way to 60 days, even 10 days is fine, but I keep self-sabotaging myself.
Im on the borderline on jumping off a bridge I swear I cant handle doing this anymore. Too many times do I break my own word and trust.
Marnia, Gary, and everyone else, please be here to help me get through to day 20. Ive never gone that far besides from Jan 1 to 21.
What a fool and Idiot i was, to think I could have already been on day 35.