When I woke up, I felt a strong morning erection and performed the deer exercise, which usually relieves urges. This time however, my erection remained strong after the exercise and I felt a strong desire to masturbate. I have this specific fetish addiction which I have been blocking out thoughts from using the Red X technique. I did not look at any videos or read any erotic stories, as usually the second I start doing any of those it becomes "I must do it". However, I did go as far as reading about why people have a female domination fetish but quickly came to my senses because in a previous post of mine, Marnia explained that the desire to analyze the subject is just my addicted brain trying to get me to think about the topic and eventually give it it's chemical desires. (Thanks Marnia, for educating me about this, this really helped me not relapse).
My question is, for those who have recovered or gone longer than I have, did you at times experience these really strong urges? I'm just wondering if I'm supposed to go through the entire duration without strong arousal that I just experienced? Or are these urges part of the process?
In the past, experiencing this would lead to "I've already kind of relapsed, may as well just masturbate already" but this is clearly my addicted brain talking. I don't feel it is necessary for me to start from day 0 because right now I feel good after that episode, I don't feel utterly depressed and hopeless like I do after a relapse.