Day 26

Submitted by BD2000 on
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I am a fit adult male in his mid 30's who never had even a remote issue in the bedroom until last year when I had my first problem with ED. I was going crazy trying to figure out what was going on. The issues would get worse as I considered every opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend as a test. And when that test failed, I became increasingly despondent and discouraged. I eventually saw a physician, and did discover that I had low T, and went on medication to correct the problem. However, my ED issues remained. Halfway through sex I would often lose my erection, if I was even able to get it up in the first place. I would estimate the failure rate at around 50%, and the "successes" were often not very enjoyable situations for me. I did respond to viagra, so that was nice, but I am too young to have these problems, so I began to investigate what else could be causing the problems.
It was only about a year later (after the first issue) that I came across YBOP. And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Flashback: I began with porn around age 18 with old VHS and mags. I wouldn't say that I was addicted but I certainly enjoyed it fairly regularly, few times a week. After college I'd say it was a 3 or 4 time a week type of deal, even when I had a girlfriend. There would definitely be times where I'd go without, but when I masturbated it would be to porn 90% of the time.
I got high speed internet 7 or 8 years ago, and the world of porn certainly expanded for me. There would be times (not many, but they'd happen) where I'd M 3 times a day. Again, even in periods where I'd have a girlfriend. I would say it got heavy when free streaming video began to proliferate (2007ish?), probably a few years later. That became the only way I'd masturbate going forward. There were long stretches of time where it would be daily, and I'd throw in 2 a day on certain days.

So back to the present day -- often with the failures with my partner, I'd follow up with pmo when we'd be apart, just to check and see if things still worked. I found that I was chasing edgier types of porn, also getting bored with actresses or scenes I'd scene before. My erections were weak but I'd still manage to orgasm.

So I stumbled on YBOP and everything seemed to make a lot of sense. I am trying to reboot and if that does not work, I will try to seek some kind of therapy. It can be tough to go through a process like this with a partner and while mine doesn't know the whole YBOP situation, she understands that I need a break from the constant stress associated with the ED issues. I don't remember ever taking more than a two week break from sex with her in the time we've been together, and even if there were two week breaks, I would often masturbate out of habit.

So I'm on Day 26 of my reboot and it's been interesting. It's good not to have the pressure of performance hanging over my head, but I want to go back to some sense of normalcy. The first 10 days or so of the reboot I had absolutely no morning wood. That has changed a bit...while it's still not rip roaring hard like it used to be, at least it is happening again. I have no interest in looking at porn. I have had 5 or 6 erotic dreams during this 26 day period, and while none has resulted in a wet dream, it's pretty encouraging just to have those dreams at all. But I'd put my libido at about a 2 out of 10. I see a lot of attractive girls but the idea of sex isn't something that interests me all that much right now. I would say the flatline period is difficult. There have been stretches where my libido has been a zero and the shrinkage was ridiculous, but I have noticed that my penis has returned to more normal size in the last couple of days.

So I am hoping that things start to pick up in the next 4 to 8 weeks, but I am trying to be patient.