Finally really feeling the effects of no PMO after 24 days

Submitted by joeyc on
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Its 24 days since I've started this journey and now on 24th day it hit me. This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done. The first 24 days were somewhat easy for me, maybe because I'm in college and I have to keep busy anyway, but today I felt it, and the feeling was nothingness. This feeling is new to me because I've so use to be thinking about sex 24/7, I certainly don't have ED but I'm so use to being horny all the time. During my darkest days I would mix marijuana and porn just the get the feeling of a super orgasm (not a good idea). Ironically since I started using porn at the age of 15 I started having stomach problems, high school was terrible for me since I would only eat once a day and got picked for being skinny. Then after that came depression and finally crippling anxiety which I've been battling for the last four years of my life. The anxiety was the worst it was a combination of depression, not being able to eat, not being comfortable with myself, not being able to sleep,and not knowing who I really am. I'm 24 and the last 9 years of my life have been hell. Now thanks to yourbrainonporn I've beaten my anxiety and depression, and say that fully because I've never felt this feeling of nothing. This feeling is calm, and clarity. I had a dream last night with a women with blue hair, and she was happy and pretty. I looked up what blue means in dreams and it means calm and clarity. I know I'm on only on my 24th day and I have a long battle ahead of me, but refraining from pornography and masturbation isn't that hard, I just keep busy and think only of the future when I'm totally happy and cured from this addiction. To everyone whose on the fence, or relapsing, go a month with out porn or masturbation, YOU will start gain control of your spirit, YOU can beat this.

P.S.
If your having wetdreams don't worry about them I've had two so far, your body is getting use to not masturbating. And keep journal write in the morning when you first wake up and before you go to bed, your going to have a lot of emotions in you, get them out.

Last few days have been

Last few days have been pretty hard, its getting harder to distract myself from the sex in television advertisements, the internet. I really can't avoid them at this point since I'm in college and I'm really stressed. But I know if I just avoid porn and make it to 90 days i'll be good

I'm exercising here and there

I'm exercising here and there. Its hard because I'm also fighting a marijuana addiction. The use of pornography and drugs really messed me up, I'm don't feel like myself at all. But I've read that with healthy eating the effects of marijuana should go away in 6-10 weeks.