A journey of a thousand miles

Submitted by Metta85 on
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Hi, this is my first post here. I discovered YBOP a while back (Thanks so much for creating that site!) and I'm feeling ready to break this addiction and live life to the fullest! I thought that by posting here it might help strengthen my resolve. Also, if my experience can be of any help to others that would be even better.

I've had a pretty serious addiction since I was about 13 and I'm 26 now. The addiction was pretty strong for a long time but, became even stronger a couple years ago after I broke up with the woman I'd thought I'd marry. Soon after I had convinced my self that women were too selfish and too much trouble so I'd just replace them with porn. It eventually got to the point where I'd often spend at least 4-5 hours every night trying to find the perfect video or image. Pretty sad when I think about it! Sometimes I would even call in sick to work and spend all night on the computer. I wouldn't realize how much time went by until I saw the sun rising. I knew I had a serious problem. Also, I have been struggling with anxiety and depression since I was 13 just about the same time I started using porn on a regular basis. I never saw that there might be a connection there. By great luck I discovered YBOP and every thing made sense.

So, here I am now, five days in. Honestly, I'm feeling pretty bad. My anxiety is through the roof and I have this terrible brain fog. In fact it's difficult to even think clearly enough to write this. But, at the same time I feel determined. Determined to conquer my vices. Determined to be the person I've always wanted to be. Determined to help others in life and make this world a better place. I'm comforted by Laozi's words that " A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". One step, one day at a time, I can do that :)

Thanks!

Thanks. I have been trying to get more exercise lately. I does help a lot. I'm planning on climbing some mountain peaks this summer. So I'm training for that. However, I don't socialize as often as I should... I play in a band a couple times a week. But, besides that I don't get out much.

I admire your courage

Have you checked out these lists of things that others here have suggested?

♦Solo Tools

♦Tools to Connect

And if you want to read about other people's withdrawal misery, it may make you feel better (in a weird way...): WITHDRAWAL

When you're down, there's always Uncle Bob: http://yourbrainonporn.com/uncle-bob-porn-addiction-recovery-tips

Lao Tzu's my favorite. Here's an entire book of his "little known" wisdom: http://www.abuddhistlibrary.com/Buddhism/H%20-%20World%20Religions%20and...

BTW, you might like this forum: http://yourbrainonporn.com/visit-wwwyourbrainrebalancedcom

Still going strong!

This is my first time back on the internet for a little while. I decided that the best thing for me was to package up my computer and stay off the computer for a while. So far my willpower is still strong. I'm definitely going through some withdrawal symptoms but thing are starting to get better. However, now my sex drive is through the roof. Its nice to have it back. But, now it's too much. I get erections all the time and Im attracted to every woman alive, lol. Will this eventually balance out? Also, even though I don't plan on having sex for a little while still, I'm worried that I wouldnt last a minute if I did. Does anyone have any experience with this?

Smart move unhooking from the Web

Yes, I think things will settle down. Some guys actually hit a flatline after an initial rush of libido. Everyone's brain is a bit different.

Just tell the woman you've been experimenting with storing up your manly essence. It's fine if the first time is quick. Things will regulate fairly quickly once you're in a relationship.

What have your withdrawal symptoms been?