There was a point while a teenager when I actually experienced a conscious turning point. I was sitting in my room, bummed out about losing a girlfriend – when suddenly, in a flash, the thought occurred to me that I wanted to “know” the truth of who I am. I remember distinctly writing it down in my journal, “I’ve been here for over 16 years and I’m ready to know the truth…I’ll find out and then I’m going to come back and remember.”
That put me on a search. For forty-something years now I’ve read just about every kind of philosophy and belief system there is. What I’ve concluded is pretty simple. It is that we are not really born as human beings; we are born as conscious human animals, hard wired with a biological programming that doesn’t actually have our best interests at heart.
Our animal nature wants to ingest high caloric foods and seek out opportunities for sexual release, make babies or unbridled promiscuity. That’s basically it. Though our body and brain is programmed for physical continuance, it’s obvious to me that it has little or no investment in helping us become truly happy and emotionally fulfilled along the way.
My conclusion is that the way to overcome this hard-wiring is by consciously transcending the animal nature – and that can only be done by confronting the two aspects that steer us the most – food and sex.
In my own life, what I’ve found is that when I’m really relaxed and breathing slowly, especially from the heart, there is a consistent kind of entrance to this “transcendent” awareness. It feels as though I’ve arrived home and that I’m experiencing the sensual delight of my true nature or higher self.
Strangely enough, the way this happened for me was precisely by directly addressing these two issues – food and sex. As I’ve cleaned up my diet away from high calorie, fatty foods and enjoy lots of fruits and vegetables, I find that I have more enthusiasm. This in turn greatly improves my ability to enjoy longer, more frequent sessions of Karezza and touch that delicious state of relaxed breathing. Karezza is definitely an important part of my spiritual path. I delight in thinking how my life could have turned out had I known that at sixteen! (Maybe I wouldn’t have lost that cute girlfriend.)
It seems to me as if there is a dark side and a light side to the animal programming – wherein one way leads into a downward spiral of illness, contraction and frustration, while the other propels me upward toward vitality and expansion.
This spiritual journey seems to be clearly about brain training and having a direct-experience. Like in Zen practice, it’s helpful to get beyond beliefs and philosophy, and work toward improving one’s ability to consistently achieve a relaxed and expanded state of conscious breathing.
Sex without the goal of orgasm enhances that. And when a person is able to succeed with a committed partner who wants the same thing, the revelations of our human potential as “spiritual being having a physical experience” become profoundly clear.