My wife cooperates, but does not embrace, Karezza. And, even after 25 years of marriage, I am still learning how to effectively interact with my wife. No doubt, I have done some important things wrong for many, many years.
1. It has now gotten through my thick skull that when my wife says, 'I really do not like to be groped in the morning,' that things work out better when I do not grope her in the morning. She accepts massage, but is unhappy if I proceed to groping. So, largely, I have stopped groping her in the morning. She seems appreciative.
2. It has now gotten through my thick skull that when my wife says, 'I do not like it that this Karezza stuff can go on and on and on,' that Karezza does not have a clear-cut -- and relatively quick -- stopping point really does bother her. So, though it seems a bit clinical, I now set a timer for 20 minutes when we begin Karezza. When the timer goes off, I stop immediately. My wife seems relieved and seems more relaxed during Karezza, now.
We are approaching three years of Karezza, now. My neediness really seems to have gone away, largely. My wife seems more receptive to intercourse, now; she seems to enjoy it, instead of acceding to it as a duty. We treat each other much better, now: fewer flare-ups and very few blow-ups.
Thanks for your counsel over the years, Marnia and fellow posters. I could not have salvaged, then improved to this degree, my marriage without you!