I have the impression that all the posters under this topic are male. Well, there are also a lot of women who regularly engage in "solo practice", and I've been one of these.
It has been a long struggle for me with masturbation. After I have become a Christian at age 18, I didn't stop it completely. It's really a long story. I'm already 40 by now and I have still not completely overcome this habit. I must add that I'm still not married (even though I've been really longing for a god-fearing partner) and my hunger for sexual intimacy is tremendous- to say the least.
Especially this time of the year is quite hard for me. It seems that late summer/early fall is the time of the year when people most like to have sex. To my knowledge, this season has an influence on the hormones.
Well, as mentioned already, it has been a loooong struggle for me, and I could write a whole book chapter on this, but I would like to focus on "Karezza" here.
Of course, once I found out that I can stimulate myself to orgasm (at age 14 or so), I have always wanted to achieve it - in various ways, but mainly digitally. I also tried other ways, like humping pillows, and I even discoverd the shower head at some point. About three years ago, I even purchased a vibrator to give me more pleasure. But at some point, I really got ashamed for using this plastic penis to stimulate myself, and so I threw it away. Of course it was a "better" option than using a cucumber or something that is not designed for giving sexual pleasure, but I realized that this is not the way God had intended sex.
I'm still convinced that self-pleasure is not in God's plan. Especially lately, I have realized that you actually have to fulfill two incompatible roles while masturbating: You are the giver and the receiver at the same time - and this just doesn't make any sense at all!
Thus, in the past months, I have felt more and more uncomfortable to lay hands on myself. In fact, I have also experienced quite painful orgasms, especially while digitally stimulating my clitoris. But lately, I have also experienced pain by indirect stimulation, i. e. humping a pillow. Thus, I have become reluctant manipulating myself to orgasm. In fact, I do like the "good feeling" very much while stroking my vagina, putting my fingers into this wet entrance, and of course caressing my breasts and even sucking my nipples. Oh my, I apologize for my detailed description - I hope this doesn't offend anybody here! But my struggle is so real, and I'm longing sooo much to experience this with my husband one day!
Anyway, I was wondering if I could do Karezza on my own (after first reading about it yesterday evening), and so I tried it this morning - but it didn't work out. I just wanted to cuddle up in my bed. I took a hot water bottle with me, undressed myself, and I "hugged" my big pillow. As usual, it felt good to "hug" at least something, because hugging myself is not fun at all (for the above reasons). And of course I also straddled the pillow between my legs and knees while moving rhythmically. Admittedly, I also fantasized a little bit how wonderful this would be with my husband. Anyway, I got aroused in the process. I removed the pillow from my body and noticed that I was juicing. And so I wanted to cum! So I did it rather quickly by sitmulating my clitoris again. In the process, I also put my fingers into my vagina, but it didn't go fast enough. And so I cummed - and as usual really enjoyed the relaxing feeling afterwards.
Well, that's my confession. I don't know at the moment what to do. To be honest, I can't wait to get home from work to do it again.
Do you think it's justified to do Karezza as kind of a therapy? I have had two kind of serious relationships before I got baptized into my church. The first guy, the one who took my virginity, raped me most of the time (he only wanted to get rid of his sperm), and with the second one, I did phone sex and also some real sex, but the latter without any pleasure.
My last sexual encounter is about 17 years ago (in between, I only had one online affair), and of course my hunger is tremendous. I can't wait to lie in the arms of my future husband, but of course I have to build that relationship first. But I also need to heal before I can enter into a marital relationship, so I'm wondering if it would be justified for a Christian to do some of these practices on their own - just for "therapy". I would appreciate the views of other Christians of course!