Need help and support

Submitted by Red26 on
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I have spent the last 2 weeks relapsing. First it started light with just a little porn, then today I went full on and I feel like I am right back where I started. I had gone 60 days, with no porn or internet related sex, and was on a regular but very limiting masturbation schedule that was working well for me to keep focused. At first it was very hard, then it got easier, and I actually thought I was cured. I looked back at myself just a few months before and said that was the old me, this is the new me. It felt good. But then as time went on I wasn't getting the results I wanted. My libedo had not really returned and I was getting tired of waiting. Truth is I just lost interest in trying to stay clean. And sadly, the thing is that I really don't even care that much right now.

I kind of knew this would happen, at first I am determined and strong, then I get used to being clean and forget what it was like to be addicted, then I get careless and binge, and then it's like ohhh yeah, I remember what this feels like now. I get ashamed and say I will clean up because the shame is fresh in my mind.

I know it is not good for me, but I am just not as excited to try this as I was at first. When I first gave up internet sex I was really excited about how much I thought I would change, but then when I didn't see those changes, I kinda just started to think this whole addiction thing is kinda BS. I was half assing it. I would go a few days then be like ehh what's the use. I know deep down it is not, but I'm just not really sold on it. I was not really active on the forums, I think maybe I could use some support. It was hard going through this by myself and nobody to share successes and failures with. If anyone would like a one on one support buddy or just someone to talk to, hit me up on PM.

You're right

It's tough to do on your own. And to stay clean you really have to bring in the new activities that your brain is "looking for." Were you making efforts to socialize? If not, when you feel stable again, try some of these ideas: http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-to-connect-with-others

These can help with *getting* stable: http://yourbrainonporn.com/solo-tools Both pages have some cool ideas, and almost all came from the forum.

Finally, why not check out http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/? It may be just the support you need. Those guys are pretty good at straight talk. Smile

Don't be disappointed in yourself. This is all part of the learning curve.

*big hug*

Thanks for the tips. No I

Thanks for the tips. No I was not really making much efforts to socialize. That was a large part of the problem. I just had this idea that my new found sexual energy would magically propel me towards women and boost my confidence. It did a bit, but not enough to get my anywhere. That's part of the reason I think I relapsed. I was feeling frustrated in real life and turned to the internet again to escape reality.

Socializing is a big help

For me, socializing is a big help, especially being around girls. A- it's a great mood booster, the longer I'm off of pmo, the more i pick up on signals from girls. Something I was blind to before, but it makes you feel like hot stuff haha. B- being around girls is a constant reminder of what you're working towards ;P