Past Life Vs Present hell

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Submitted by Stallion Returns on
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Just remembering old days today. Exactly 2 years before how i was living....Always had loads of frends..Use to go out...How i use to feel when i use to a simple girl on street...I never needed sumthng to make myself happy...It was a internal feeling...That energy...Crude energy...Which was keeping me ahead in all fronts...

Masturbation was my daily habit...And i never felt any bad effects because of that!!!....Exercise...work...Flirting...Confidence..Everthng was perfect...My internal energy was so high that i use to think what to do with this surplus thing...I never imagined that a day will come when i have to beg for energy...Life...And that day came in my life...I am feeling the difference because i am not grown up with porn...I am 29 years old....So it was a trans period for me....And thats why i can see the difference vividly how disastrous this is !!!...

When i struck with this porno habit 2 years before....It was not addiction it was just an aid for masturbation....But soon it exceeded to rape scence, animal...Violent sex...I thought its good for masturbation, i need to imagine sex scenes which i had with my girlfiend long ago...Was feeling very proud that i dont need any girl now.....And i am not in control of myself ...And people are really fool that they go for commited relationships..Marriages...!!!Look at how i am ...i dont feel like marrying...I am he ultimate human being!!!.I can live alone.

But it was totally wrong!! Porn was eating me from inside...Soon i use to feel depressed...Brain fog...Social anxiety...Digestion problem..My primitive brain was hooked...And the funny thing is i was thinking that...I have grown older and thats why its ok that i dont same urge to masturbate which i use to...In last whole year i have masturbated around 20 times maximum...Which is less than which i use to in one month...I literally got crazy when i get a erection now coz its so rare..

U know what...When we are normal and living happy life we never consider its cost...But now when we loose it...U remember it requires efforts and destiny also to feel normal like other human beings...!!! I am feeling it on day 104....if god is ther sumwher he will definitely give me second chance to live like he created me....I wont disappoint him for sure!!

just be patient

this takes time. And be gentle with yourself. It isn't easy. It's an addiction and withdrawal is difficult but you'll be fine. And the more socializing with girls you can do, and snuggling and all that, the better. That is what really builds up the oxytocin and oxytocin makes withdrawal so much easier

Marnia i am experiencing very

Marnia i am experiencing very unsual pattern.....once in a month i experience heavy boost of energy...I become normal....In all fronts...But this phase remains only for 4-5 days...After that i again get depressed...Is it because i fantasize a lot about my past sex experiences?...Does that harm my progress??