From PMO to Anxiety to Sexual Exhaustion and ED?

Submitted by bw2011 on
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Overall, since avoiding pornography and masturbation, I've developed a real longing for companionship and intimacy which I'm happy about. I'm taking real notice of girls around me and attempting to initiate something but there's an underlying caution and despair that the reality is I have no sexual ability to fulfil their needs or my own.

At times, I feel as though I want sex but my body doesn't respond with sexual arousal or spontaneous erection - just anxiety and a feeling around my prostate to want to ejaculate.

I've put myself through a lot of anxiety and suppressed sexual urges quite harshly in view of my pornography usage. After experiencing this anxiety, I began to feel very drained but continued pornography use - at times really depleting my body of energy. I couldn't understand why I kept going back for me no matter how much mentally I'd hate myself - but the articles on dopamine clarify what was going on?

I'd begun to read a lot all over the net about how excessive sexual activity can upset neuro-chemicals and exhaust the adrenal glands and as I keep reading I feel very much afraid that I've pushed myself to a limit my body can't handle. Is this legitimate?

Is it advised to report these things to a medical professional and order some tests to qualify this research - such as hormone levels or neuro chemical imbalances? Can these things be tested? Is it recommended that adequate nutrition and supplementation be incorporated to bring the body's neuro chemicals back in balance while on the 90 day reboot?

Most doctor's would think I'm nuts for wanting to know what my hormone's or neuro-chemicals are up to being 27 but given I've subjected my body to such mistreatment - the research explains a lot about why I feel the way I do and have a keen curiosity to know whether this can be revealed to me.

Please share any experiences or practical advice on improving health and energy aside from abstinence.

Much appreciated.

I have no experience with medical remedies

It can't hurt getting blood work done but I sincerely doubt in most cases it will reveal anything wrong.

I think that you have a lot of anxiety and this is natural. Sometimes you just have to be patient and let things unravel at their natural pace. Have you stopped masturbation and porn completely, and if so, how long? Your last blog said that you were having great difficulty with abstaining for very long.

How is your health otherwise? Do you work out? How is your recovery from workouts?

I find that abstinence builds very good recovery times after awhile. I can't see why a body wouldn't regain very good health. It's a self correcting system. But perhaps a bit more abstinence might be needed.


Thanks Emerson and Marnia,
I'm checking in with the doctor tomorrow just to query whether my concerns are valid. If not, great, at least it'll put my mind at ease.

I am on Day 8. Not amazing I know, especially since I signed up months ago. Unfortunately, the main culprit for relapse is masturbation, perhaps from memories or desires. but at least not pornography. I try to shut down thoughts too, do you think that's a good thing? Otherwise, orgasm is like the tranquilliser I need when stress or worry about my sexuality flares up. It's quite hard to settle down and can hit me without a thought about sex too, irritated down below and start to get really tense - but I just continue to suppress that right? Is that how most people do the reboot? And by the way, when that urge flares up, is that dopamine swishing around or is it me just thinking too much about suppressing it? Just wondering whether I'm making the problem worse or I'm really being affected by dopamine etc.? As much as I think I don't want to, it's like I'm hell-bent on needing to ejaculate.

The occasional relapses I've tracked in my diary. Where at once I lasted 30 days, the last couple of months show me that every 10 days or so I'll get that really strong urge to ejaculate.

I have started the gym thankfully. I do weights mostly because energy is pretty lousy and recovery is quite slow. I generally need to sleep a lot over the next 2-3 days. Maybe this is just because I'm new to it I don't' know but I tend not to last very long in the gym either. Still, I think and hope I'll get into full swing soon enough.

Thanks for the suggestion Marnia, cuddle sounds good. There's no groups like that around that I've found but I'll work something out.

One other question. Can you tell me if I'm understanding this ri

Orgasm feeds a constant desire for more right? It is normal but where I've directed it - porn, masturbation and fantasies - is wrong. So every time I get the urge my brain says go back to masturbation, fantasies or porn. But knowing it's wrong / unhealthy drives a lot of anxiety and stress because I'm trying to resist what my brain has learnt to be "beneficial" and "satisfying".

If I get through reboot and start a relationship and make love to a girl, I would trust that my brain will fixate on wanting to experience orgasm with her and dopamine affecting my brain will not worry me because I will have landed my attraction and "object" of desire in the right place.

When you mention cuddles, do you think that would help or hinder reboot? I would say help because it's natural and real but I don't want to be selfish about it. It would have to be with someone I really care about. Would it speed up the reboot do you think?

A lot of these questions

you have to answer for yourself.

Here's info on the chaser: Do You Need A Chaser After Sex? It's not a "constant." That is, many guys notice less of a chaser as they distance themselves from porn use...which suggests orgasm becomes more truly satisfying as the brain comes into balance.

Cuddling is *always* good for both parties. Just as therapeutic massage exchanges are good for both parties. Just keep clear boundaries and you'll be fine.

Good luck with the doctor. Let us know what you find out. Sometimes guys with ED have to cut out masturbation for a while to reboot, but there are exceptions to every rule.

Everyone reboots a bit differently, but usually distraction with exercise, time in nature, socializing or meditation works better than just "gritting your teeth." Have you checked out some of these techniques? RED X