Possible Porn Induced ED. Rebooting. Need Help/Advice!!

Submitted by TonyGibson on
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Hi everyone! Im new to this whole forum thing but i feel like i need to share progress with people that understand and hopefully recieve some feedback and guidance!
Ill keep it as short as i can because ive seen some really long ones!
Basically im a 20yo male, that is fit and eats a good diet. I have very low body fat due to a fast metabolism and i have a physically demanding job. I found porn at around the age of 13-14. I lost my virginity at the age of 20, long story short... i fell in love with someone at the age of 16 - 18 and didnt touch any girls in the time i had feelings for her. i wanted to wait for someone special. At 18 i started to go clubbing (i live in aus) trying to pick up girls. I had NO success for 2 years, and i used to masterbate to porn alot. Most of the time it would be 1-3 times a day, sometimes up to 5 times (not because i was addicted, but mainly to pass time because i was bored) and sometimes i would go a week without even thinking about it. I used to be able to masterbate to sexual thoughts and everything.. The weird thing was after i lost my virginty i could last anywhere up to an hour. Sometimes i had to finish myself off... I never gave it much thought, other than that i thought i was gods gift to women because i could last so long, but i was wrong. In this time I continued making out with various girls and acheiving erections on the dance floor while intoxicated with ease. But recently I started seeing a girl... and it took a while before we tried to have sex. Every time we made out i would get a boner, even at the sight of her sometimes.. I was really horny all the time so i was masterbating alot in order to make sure id last longer when it did happen. I never really put much thought into it, but the porn i was watching to begin with didnt turn me on as much. I had to go to alternative things to get a kick. The night before she came over was the last time i masterbated. I remember being disapointed at only having a 85% erection. The night she came over we made out for 4 hours and i had a semi. When my praents finally fell asleep we tried to have sex but i couldnt get it hard enough for penetration! I didnt know what was happening. I put it down to tiredness. Then the next day we tried but i couldnt get it up (only a semi) because i was anxious about whether or not it would work.
And so begins my no masterbation tale:
22/7/2012
Day 1 and 2 - I felt like penis was dead but I tried to masterbate to thoughts but could only get a semi. It lasted about 2 seconds then died. I bought some horny goat weed because i really like her and i can see this going somewhere special (there is a huge backstory but i wont go into that unless requested)
Day 3 -7 I stopped trying to masterbate because i didnt want to be disapointed with it not working, however on day 4 i saw her, and ended up being about 90% hard, and she gave me a blow job till orgasm. I had horny goat weed before hand.
Day 7-9 I had commited to not masterbating and not watching porn as i found yourbrainonporn.com I
started having semi morning erections, about 50% but I kept waking up with blue balls, must have been having big night erections
I saw her on day 9 and we made out for ages and i got another decent erection and really turned on! I got a handjob till i came
On day 12 we saw eachother again and we had sex. After so long of not masterbating my peformance was nothing to be proud of. I lasted about 20 seconds before i could feel my orgasm start... but i held off and lasted maybe 10-15 minutes. The funny thing was i was ready to go again after 5 minutes. I had horny goat weed before hand again.
Day 13-16 I didnt see her at all, and didnt masterbate. I woke up with morning erections. Horny goat weed was causing severe anxiety attatcks so i stopped taking it. I started feeling depressed and really frustrated as i had no sex drive, and nothing was turning me on.
Day 17 - She came over to my house and we watching TV. I got an erection after a short make out session and she gave me a blowjob. I then got another erection later and she gave me a handjob, both till orgasm. I had stopped taking horny goat weed on a daily basis and only started taking it before i saw her.
Day 19- 22. Started feeling a slight return in libido and thoughts of having sex had an effect on my penis, i could feel something.. but it never turned into an erection, or even a semi for that matter...
Day 23 - I took horny goat weed during the day and she came over later that night. We had sex before a party and i lasted about 2 minutes. Then after the party (and a decent amount of alcohol) we had sex again and i lasted for about 30 minutes. We had sex again in the morning and i lasted the same.
Day 24 - My sex drive plumetted.
Day 25 - My sex drive still down but saw her and managed to get an erection from just kissing. it wasnt hard enough for penetration most of the time ( we didnt try but i just knew) but sometimes it got hard enough, when she rubbed it. but then went back to a 70%er when she stopped.
Day 26- Im coming to terms with whats going on. I hate having no sex drive, as i havent felt this way for someone in a long time. I dont want my lack of performance to stop something special, however i think she has similar things going on in her head... She stops sex when i know i can perform but then it leaves me thinking "what if im not working next time"
In summary - The past few weeks have been a mixture of highs and lows. The lows being really bad anxiety attack filled days and waking multiple times during the night. The highs were amazing! I felt so happy and content. I havent told her what i think my problem is, i know i could and she would be understanding as we are really close and can talk about anything... but i just dont feel the need to yet... In the times we have been having "fun" sessions i have always pleasured her as much as i can, and as much as she will let me. (incase you thought i was being selfish with the previous details) About 90% of mornings i would wake up with a 60%er, and sometimes could turn it into a 90%. I never masterbated though. I am still yet to have a 100% erection and its killing me.
One thing ive noticed which scares me is sharp pain in the gouche area, only sometimes, but i think its because my hips are sore from sex/work ( i have really tight muscles which have caused this in the past) And sometimes i feel like i have blue balls/been hit in the balls for no reason :S im thinking about seeing a doc though. Ill keep you updated as much as possible! Hopefully my story can help someone that is in a similar situation,
Any advice is appreciated!!! thanks in advance

PS - I think orgasming, even though its from her stimulation is slowing my process down?
-
Hopefully

welcome here

My advice is to first, tell your woman there what is going on. Get her on board with helping you.

Second, I would try to avoid stimulation of your penis for awhile. It will all work so much better if you do not masturbate and do not have her give you oral or hand jobs for just a bit. You want to quit porn entirely and quit masturbation for awhile and really not have hand jobs or oral because you want your brain to regain the lost sensitivity. This will make sex really enjoyable and help you have a deeper sense of connection with her. And it will put an end to performance issues.

Third advice is to avoid performance issues at all -- try to have spend lots of time cuddling and being naked and close without sex. This really speeds up the recovery process and is super enjoyable on its own.

thanks emerson :) i have

thanks emerson :) i have stopped masterbation as i cant get it up at all when im not making out. i will try and resist, i think i have already come a fair way... but still along way to go. the funny thing is i though, i think i caught it right as it because an ED problem. I will try my best but my parents are going away for a month and she will be staying over a bit! i know a little short term pain for long term gain is what i need to do... but could having sex a few times (as it is working) really set me back? the thing is, im not self consious at all, we have snuggled naked, and spend heaps of time cuddling and spooning and watching movies together. her head on my chest kind of thing. I am fully comfortable with her, as i have alot of self confidence, the only issue i have with performance is wondering if it will get up. if its up i know i can perform really well. ill keep you posted with updates! but thanks alot for the advice :D

The first guy who

recovered from porn-induced ED was an Aussie! You guys are my heroes. He was the one who discovered that you really need to lay off the sexual stimulation for a long period. (For him it was 7-8 weeks before he bounced back to normal.)

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/how-i-recovered-from-porn-related-erectil...

You can write him a PM here:

http://www.reuniting.info/messages/new/4668?destination=user/4668

Good luck.

thanks!

i found that story and was very helpful! it really describes my situation well. hopefully 7-8 weeks is all it takes me, as i think im on my 4th now. (not including orgasms from her, which hopefully isnt too much of a setback) and i have to say i still have no libido but am not giving up. Hopefully i can hold off! im sure it will all turn out fine soon :D ill keep you updated as to my progress!

Im thinking the same thing.

Im thinking the same thing. We do have a good relationship, i think i put alot of weight on sex though, like put it on a pedastool. Ill think about trying that! I do have cravings afterwards, i know i can resist them though because i need to overcome this! i felt alot better today. i feel very similar to how i used to feel just without the need to have sex, but i still have a urges to. its a weird feeling. ill let you know when im recovered! but i dont think it will be upwards of 90 days. lets pray!!
Thanks again for the advice!!

Update

Last night i woke up with a full erection, and also had 2 spontaneuos ones today. My libido has been coming back since i last had a sex, and today was great :D hopefully it continues to rise. Ill give it another week or two and check back in! thanks :D