For long rebooters like me, I was thinking that there could be a structured process to re-wiring to sex. Currently, it seems like some people just make the jump to sex without any problems and others struggle with varying tactics. Seems like there should be some way from moving from cuddling, to handjobs to oral sex, then finally to real sex. So maybe something like:
(1) Cuddle/makeout until there is no anxiety being physical. Having no erection here is not a problem.
(2) Handjob without a condom. Do this until you are confident that your partner can give you an erection and you can orgasm.
(3) Handjob with a condom. This might help you train sensitivity and make one more comfortable with getting condoms on. Repeat this until one is confident with placing the condom, keeping erect, and orgasm.
(4) Oral sex with no condom. Partner could use hands to get initially erect. That would simulate sexual feeling more closely.
(5) Mixture of oral sex and handjob with a condom on. This would train your body to still keep an erection with less sensitivity. When one is confident of keeping an erection, without PE here, one could move on.
6) Sex with condom. If erection is lost, you could go back to oral or handjobs with the confidence that it will work.
The idea here would be to start with something most men are accustomed to (masturbation), then move closer and closer to real sex. I think that might also help with performance anxiety.
What do people think?