The Return

Submitted by aces on
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Back again for your thoughtful support and advice.

I quick in January and that lasted about 3 months and since then I've slowed crept back towards nasty online porn and masturbation. I want to get to the heart of the problem now. I have a stunning girlfriend with a flawless body! I am attracted to her but crave variety. I get bored even though I want to move to the next step with her. I realize I probably can't do that with this problem.

Any tips for someone who was been going down this road, on and off it, for years? I am a wealthy, successful, spiritually fulfilled person with an amazingly fortunate life in other respects. Please help me fill in the gaps that have led me to this point...again.

Respectfully,

ACES

what has done it is...

...orgasms and porn...desensitize you and make you bored with your partner.

The heart of the problem takes care of itself if you can get away from porn and avoid masturbation for a bit. You want to leave fantasy behind. This is easier said than done. But it's how a lot of guys have gotten out of this cycle. I doubt you can be spiritually fulfilled if you are using porn, quite honestly. It's very spiritually destructive and you have no idea of how much this is the case until you've put it behind you.

Every day, the way I look at other people and they way I can tell they see me is completely different than it was for most of my life when I was using porn.

It's striking how much better this is. And I'm madly attracted to my wife of 25 years, mainly also do the fact that we are practicing this wonderful frequent sex with so much bonding in between.

I hope you'll decide to put your mind to it. Try again, and it will be much better this time, I'm sure.

Thanks for your thoughtful

Thanks for your thoughtful words Emerson! I am intrigued by this statement:

"Every day, the way I look at other people and they way I can tell they see me is completely different than it was for most of my life when I was using porn."

How so? I actually receive a fair bit of positive energy from other people, porn or not. Friends, business associates, family, generally speaking, gravitate to me for various reasons. I am curious what you mean by your statement.

Thank you for being so generous with your time and helping me. It will serve you well friend. :)

there is no shame

That's the best way I can say it. There is no shame, there is just easy and comfortable eye contact. It wasn't like that before and I never knew that it wasn't. It's like living with a pain for your whole life and suddenly it's gone. And that goes for talking to both women and men. There is an honesty and straight forwardness that was not there before.