Tim's Porn Addiction Journal

Submitted by TJC on
Printer-friendly version

Hi my name is Tim and I am a porn addict... I have gone 3 days, 5 hours without porn.

I have decided to make my mission public and share with you my progress and pit falls.

Recently I have been looking at more and more, harder and harder porn in an effort to satisfy my cravings. My relationship with my girlfriend is suffering, I am noticing troubles with erections and even delayed orgasms, usually taking me over and hour to reach climax. Plus I was
masturbating 2 times a day just because I can, often when I am not even horny. I blame it all on porn which has provided me with a sensory overload for far too long. I have always been a procrastinator and it has been so easy to just leave my studies in favor of a quick porn fix, instead of exercising or doing something constructive.

So I am going cold turkey, no porn, nudity, or lustful images of any kind for 90 days. I am also going to go without masturbating for as long as I can. Sex with the GF is still allowed but I must not turn it into a porn fantasy. Slow/Intimate sex only. I may even turn to tantra/karezza to discover full-body male orgasms, and orgasms without ejaculation. Something that I have been interested in for some time.

Thankfully my girlfriend of 3.5 years is fully on board.

I will post up my progress periodically. Your support/encouragement would be a great help.

Wish me luck everyone.

Thank you for the advice.

Thank you for the advice. "There is not spoon" got it.

I do have a partner and it will be a great help as far as accountability goes. But we don't live together so its also going to be a solo affair for me too.

I know that my story isn't as bad as others so I wouldn't say I really was a true addict either. The fact that I came to realise I had a problem by myself, before it was too late, tells me that porn hasn't completely taken over my life. But either way, I think this will be a life changer for me if I can stick with it.

yeah you are lucky

especially if you can practice a lot of naked cuddling and bonding behaviors. This makes it so much easier not to masturbate or look at porn. And the other thing that is important is to find those situations where you used PMO and think of and act on substitute behaviors that get you out of there so you don't do it. Substitute behaviors are the key to ending an addiction. And the other key is cuddling and snuggling and lots of time bonding with your girlfriend. That oddly enough is very satisfying and gets rid of the urge to masturbate to a great extent. Orgasms increase the urge to masturbate for some odd reason.

My GF and I bought a tantra

My GF and I bought a tantra book a while ago and tried a few things. We tried the yab-yum position naked except she wore underwear. We caressed and touched and grinded a for what seemed like hours. It was fantastic. The sense of euphoria was amazing. I felt like I was in slow motion and could feel every fine little hair on her body as I past my hand over her. I am not sure if she got it as much as I did, because I am more open to the idea of freeing my mind.

I really want to experience that again. But only if she is able to get the same experience out of it as I did.

good for you!

that's an amazing experience.

I'm just talking about run of the mill stuff, just cuddling together and spending a lot of time in bonding behaviors like that. That really makes it much easier not to masturbate and it makes everything much better.

And by the way, you will never have the same experience as she has. It's impossible. We each inhabit our own world. I wouldn't wait for that one because all it amounts to is your story that you had the same experience she had, when you didn't, no matter what. Does that make sense?

 

that's great

makes things so, so much easier and better. You are a lucky guy to have such an understanding partner. It should make your recovery very easy compared to most guys here who are single.

Definitely feel a lot more

Definitely feel a lot more confident of succeeding with her being there to support me. I tried going without masturbating for all of Lent once, when I was single, almost made it. But that was one of the hardest things I ever did. Knowing that if I just wait a day or two I can be with her is a good way to ignore the cravings.

She has also taken my last remaining external hard-drive with porn on it to hide. When I am ready I will get her to be witness to me erasing it completely. I worked in IT so I know how to recover deleted files, so they have to be DoD wiped or destroyed or else it is becomes a challenge for me.

Very cool

This kind of sex can be particularly useful during a reboot, because the "chaser" can easily derail people at first. (For more: http://yourbrainonporn.com/do-you-need-a-chaser-after-sex)

People here are discovering that it's best to focus on what you're feeling during sex (as opposed to wondering what she's feeling). It won't make you inattentive at all. By doing this, partners can sort of "entrain" each other into a taste of their own experience. It also prevents performance pressure on her, so she can relax more.