Norman Doidge on pornography and neuroplasticity - worthwhile reading

Marnia's picture
Submitted by Marnia on

cover of bookVisit our sister-site, Your Brain On Porn.

These pages of this recent book (The Brain That Changes Itself) by psychiatrist Norman Doidge are very relevant to porn addiction, and also, if you keep reading, to how and why oxytocin (connection with others) can help reset the brain:

Painful breakup

Submitted by longingforlight1 on


My girlfriend and I had been together for a little over a year and a half before recently breaking up about a week ago. From the start of our relationship, karezza had been a sore spot. I've been a student of Gnosis for many years and know that restraining the orgasm is beneficial and healthy in so many ways. She is 21 and I'm 30. We were both each other's first sexual partner and long-term relationship, and lived together.

The friendzone

Submitted by Yuuichi on

If somehow anyone doesn’t know what the friendzone is, it’s where a woman thinks of you like a little brother and treats you as such, and seems to have absolutely no attraction for you. I used to really be cautious regarding the friend zone, so when I liked a woman, I used to make it very clear and obvious that I liked her, and I would often compliment her or if we were going somewhere together, I would get them a bar of chocolate or some flowers I picked from the forest nearby.

What exactly causes lust in men?

Submitted by Yuuichi on

The common or scientific answer may be that it is just the hypothalamus or pituitary gland producing hormones which tell the testes to produce testosterone. However, I feel perhaps that there is more to it than that. This community has a lot of interesting ideas about psychology and sex, so I wondered if there is a more accurate explanation.
For example, there are many people are are totally ok with going without orgasm for days or weeks, while for others, lust is a lot more noticeable.

How to recover from a sexless marriage?

Submitted by James Bonding on

Several weeks ago I found (I Live In A Sexless Marriage), an active forum with about 1200 members, 40% women and 60% men, who are not getting enough sex in their marriages. Their definition of "sexless marriage" is one in which there is sex less than 10 times per year.

Only about 5 of the members have reported recovering from the sexless marriage status by increasing the sex frequency to an acceptable level. The usual advice is "get a divorce" or "outsource" (find a Friend With Benefits).

Childhood Friend

cadethefaun's picture
Submitted by cadethefaun on

Yeah, so awhile back, this site and yourbrainonporn, diverged..

So this site is more about the karezza / lovemaking / relationship angle

And I don't know if it is right to say this here or not but I started here and always felt more comfortable voicing myself and innermost feelings or whatever here..

I'm at a loss

Someone who was a childhood friend of mine, yeah, haven't talked to this person for years and years.., but yeah, well this person was arrested for sexual abuse..

Dealing with 2 years of Singledom, w/avoidance of Orgasm.

Submitted by whitedeer on

Hi everyone! I am a long time lurker at this site, and have read Marnia's fantastic Cupid's poisoned arrow book. I don't intend to come here to moan about being single. Because my last relationship was emotionally traumatic, it has taken me some time to begin to heal. I think I am finally coming back to "myself" after 1.5yrs of feeling I had lost my soul when it ended with my ex.

TM and Karezza

Submitted by bivasbasu2005 on

Transcendental Meditation is a superset of all these tools described here for balancing and rebalancing both physical and mental states with an intention to reach higher level of maturity for sustainable enjoyment including both physical or mental one.

TM is just a technique like karezza that progressively provides awareness of balancing and rebalancing all unbalanced states both in physical and mental domain.