The beginning of Day 2 of not asking my Isadora for anything. Yesterday was easy because I was angry. Today she came downstairs to dress by the fire as I was on the yoga mat. I couldn't look at her nakedness. It's just too confusing for me. How do I give when my lust is soooo high? I'll figure it out. I also did not stop my practice right away to give her a greeting hug. It is usual for me to drop whatever I'm doing to take her in my arms (puppy vampire). We've agreed that it is a sign of separation to not greet or part without a hug or a kiss.
2016-01-10 Sender offered accurate insight and gave me 3 suggestions:
Hopeless Romantic that I am, I tried NS again with "The Wedding" and am reminded why I gave up on him. I'm thinking the story could be renamed "The Apology: How I Made Amends to My Wife After Screwing Up". My problem is deeper. It has to do with myth the unloved child believes: If I Do Everything Right, She will Love Me. In the story, he does do everything right. Much like I wanted to do everything right on this karezza path. For me, I think it might be better to stop seeing the Golden Boy as the paragon and start looking to the smelly, dirty, homeless man.
I've just created a new Facebook page called "Okanagan Cuddle Party Community". I would really appreciate it, if you would "like" it for me. It helps create a much needed "Buzz".
Garth aka "Arnold"
Plan #26 H&V
All of my life I have wanted guarantees. I want to know what I can do to assure the outcome. I made a plan to not approach my Isadora until she approached me first. This plan resided in my head, alone.
Man, I've missed you guys…So, the past few years have been um….up and down and sideways. I've been involved in a pretty dysfunctional relationship, and it hasn't been easy. This is a person who has some serious issues. It isn't easy finding people (particularly men) who are interested in this approach to lovemaking and healing. This person in particular apparently has a fetish about anal sex. I didn't know this until a few years into dating him. It's been a stormy, on again/off again relationship.
I used to post on this site years ago back when I was a student and had just started dating my girlfriend. Now five years later we are still together and have moved in together and have a kind, loving, great relationship and yet this porn addiction still hangs over me.
How do you delete old private messages?
I haven't been on this site in a while and thought it was a good time to do an update. I find myself in a flatline after reaching success a year ago. My success is defined in my mind as achieving an erection during intercourse. I don't know where to go next, as hard as I try to abstain from masturbation without porn I always relapse. Maybe this is because my incentive isn't enough of a motive anymore. I always pushed myself to abstain so I could one day achieve an erection with a woman. I did that. That being said, its not all roses in the bed.
On this day in 1985 I formally became a "sannyasin" of Osho Rajneesh in Rajneeshpuram Oregon. I was among the last to do so on the "Ranch". That was thirty years ago! My time flies. I love celebrating this day.
"Arnold" aka Sw. alok ansula