You can help: forum discussion

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I just received a very kind private message, expressing concern about our recent technical problems and asking how they could generally help. It inspired me to start this discussion thread about all the ways you, regular members of this community, can help the whole site to thrive in every way.

We all benefit from Gary and Marnia's work. We benefit from the ability we have to blog and get support. We benefit from all the resources made available on this site.

I know most/all of you are already contributing back in the ways you can. This thread is about brainstorming and organizing the following new wiki page:

Any ideas? Be bold: you can both discuss it here and edit the aforementioned wiki page. Thanks for your help.


Thanks for

the reminder. I have another request for those who have actually read Cupid's Poisoned Arrow. If you get a chance, could you go to your preferred and write a review that could help other readers? Indirectly, that supports the site, too, by helping get the word out about this material.

Here's another post that could use some comments, or re-posting elsewhere. The young "Huffington" Living editor buried it, because she thinks people should only hear the good news (as she perceives it) . Smile

Obviously, I think people should know their options. Wink

Affiliate Program

Do you have an Affiliate Program? I say that like I know what I'm talking about. Wink I kinda do. I know that once my web site gets up and going, I wanna put the links on there for things I highly value. I've seen the effectiveness of google ads and all, and so I will have to learn how to do all that.

I will, soon enough.


for one thing we try to keep the site kinda non-commercial (except for our book and the kids book, of course Wink ). For another, I don't know how Google Ad words could work for anything here. Who's gonna go *looking* for information on avoiding orgasm? *giggle*

Ha, ha!


I wouldn't have looked for "how to avoid an orgasm" but I looked for "how to balance yin energy", and maybe I would have clicked on an ad that said "Have you noticed feeling worse after orgasm? What's up with that, huh?" Or something like that. Maybe not make this site "commercial" but maybe there will be other ways to let others happen upon, or find out about, or make their own judgments about what it's about using their own intuition.

The information itself, I think you put it so nicely somewhere on this site that the scientific aspect brought into all of this brings an effect of observation of behavior. The scientific nature of the observation allows people to get some distance away from the behavior and (in doing so becomes less narcissistic, neurotic, becoming more self empathic) and...most importantly more MINDFUL and AWARE.

More ad suggestions: "Do you see the need for balance in your life?" "The science of orgasms and brain chemistry" "How orgasms and heroin are alike." "What if you could cure ADD without medication?" I mean...I could go on and on.

In my humble opinion, this information is as normal, natural, and necessary as breathing. No joke. I also firmly believe that it can save people's lives. (I know one already)

I can be rather serious, as you know. Sorry. Maybe there would be someone who would search on information on avoiding orgasm. Who knows.

Wink Daffy

In my crystal ball...

I see a future for you in PR.

You're amazing! Thanks, I'll give these ideas serious thought. We don't want to make medical claims, as you can appreciate, but I agree that we should all know more about how sex potentially affects the reward circuitry...and why we should care.



When speaking about "kids", Marnia was referring to this.

About advertising, Ms. Daffy and Ms. Marnia are speaking about different things.

Marnia is speaking about putting advertising on this web site, which she won't do and has never been tempted to do. I am grateful to her for that, too. She rightfully promotes her book and her new "kid" piece while keeping the whole site free of intrusive advertising. That's a good thing.

Daffy is obviously speaking about placing advertising (google ads) in other sites to promote this site. I am not sure it's such a bad idea. It could work. But one thing should be made clear: this will happen only if it is sponsored by the community. I have not consulted Gary nor Marnia on this, but I know that they pay enough out of their own pocket and with their time to host and maintain this web site. This thread is precisely about how the community could pay back by helping in different ways (e.g. by exercising your right to edit and improve this wiki page).

If a handfull of members are willing to part, not with $$$, not even with $$ but at least with some $, then the google ads project could go ahead to generate some more traffic to this site.

Daffy already gives some good ideas on what the headlines on the ads could read. Certainly nobody is looking for "orgasm suppression", but even someone looking for "orgasm" or "female orgasm" (a popular keyword, according to our logs) could be targetted. Besides, there are many, many other keywords that could be targetted: "marriage conselling", "mood swings", "depression". Once you sign with google ads, Google offers a good tool to think up some more good terms to use, with a list of the most popular keywords search. The landing page for each set of keyword could be a different page on this site, which would explain, without making any medical claim, the relationship between what they were searching for and the content of this site.

Again, if at least a couple or more of the regular bloggers here are willing to support this idea with a couple of banknotes, this project could go on a trial period... which could be extended for as long as we have the funds for it.

And to those of you who don't have the financial means to participate in such a scheme, you can always help by keeping the wiki page up to date and adopting some of the ideas listed therein, all of which won't cost you a dime.

Wiki Page

I am totally confused when it comes to the wiki page. Isn't a wiki page supposed to be a page of information that is about a particular subject and then more info is added and all? The link when clicked on that is above for the wiki page says things like "Report" "Improve" "Mutual Help"

These don't seem like things I can edit and I don't know what's needed here with the request. Maybe I dont know what a Wiki Page is. ??



I think you are getting it right: a wiki article is a collective article, not authored by a specific person, and that a large number of people can edit and improve incrementally.

Unless I messed up the settings, you should see an "edit" tab at the top of the page. Click it and edit the page as you see fit.

Currently, there are only a couple of such "wiki" pages:
both of which you should be able to edit (see tab at the top of the article).
More will probably come, depending on both Marnia's opinion and the community's willingness to contribute back in more ways.

I think this is an excellent idea

I think you will be highly surprised what people are looking for. I would not assume that people would never search on "orgasm suppression" or "libido reduction", etc. People who have not found satisfaction in our sexual society seek relief all over. The concept of orgasm avoidance or just plain flat out sex with NO orgasm is simply not any issue at all for many people. Us highly sexed people have to remember that! Smile

For me, the concept was mind boggling and even scary. For my wife, she shrugged and said -- OK. As easy as that..... I doubt she will ever have another orgasm, and she is 100% fine with that.

Now that I have tried it, I would be fine with it as well. (My brain is OK with it, other parts have not been so easily convinced yet Wink I am working on that.)

The point I am trying to make is don't assume, just cast a sweeping net. Get them to look and see. Many will scoff and move on, some will not.

I think perhaps a more succinct, to the point home page that straight up tells it like it is in black and white will help also. Don't sugar coat it. Put it out there that we think bonding based sex is best because..... Tell them the advantages of giving up that orgasm....

A person new to this site, that has not studied tantra and all that stuff or that does not understand the neurochemistry of the brain will quickly get overwhelmed here. I almost did. I was intrigued by the concept, but struggled to find out how to do it!

After I found I liked it, I was much more willing to dig into the supporting information, which I now find fascinating!

Just my 2 cents. But, speaking of money, I will be willing to contribute.


Neil and Poet: thanks for your good suggestions. I personally think that, given the funds, we could target a wide range of keywords, so any suggestion is good.

I started a new thread to brainstorm new keywords and slogan ideas for the web site promotional campain:
Everybody is invited to contribute ideas there.

Meanwhile, as I am personally still busy trying to monitor and benchmark this web site's resource usage, I rely on all of you to keep the wiki pages up to date with the latest ideas proposed here and elsewhere. This and other discussion threads have a short lifetime, but the wiki should be a permanent, up to date resource to use over the long term. Thanks again.

Thanks, guys

I'm on the road now, but when I get home I want to give these ideas serious consideration.

I agree that it's time to re-do the initial visit page.

entry page

[quote=Marnia]I agree that it's time to re-do the initial visit page.[/quote]

I didn't say that. I only mentioned that there could be several entry pages to use in conjunction with the google ads campaign. Each entry page (which could be an existing article!) would be associated with specific keywords. This is to ensure that you catch their attention on a topic they were researching.

Once you sign up for googleads and after you've gotten familiar with the interface there and the possibilities the service offers, you probably will understand better what I'm talking about.


This was running around in my head. How do you make the entry page generic enough to draw the viewer in, yet target specifically to what brought them in to begin with. This is perfect!

If a user searches on say "porn addiction", they would go to a page tailored to that.

If they searched on Karezza, they could get a page tailored to that.


Underlying all this is the core site.