♥How Sex Ruined My Life - Then Restored It Again

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disharmonyImages are from a fountain with a series of sculptures in Nuremberg, Germany called the "Marriage Carousel." It depicts a 400-year old poem by a former town resident about the phases of marriage. The fountain shows a couple starting out in a swan boat, the happy honeymooners. They end up grappling with each other in hell. With karezza, the story is reversed.

...When I married a girl I met in college I thought it was going to be wonderful and we would live happily ever after. I thought I was going to get my needs met once and for all. What I didn’t realize was that she had the same thing on her mind. We both approached each other with our own selfish personal agenda. To me, it seemed that all she wanted was sperm and a paycheck. And I guess to her, it seemed that all I wanted was frequent sexual loving. It became obvious that we didn’t want and value the same things in life. Ten years later found me with three children, bankrupt, jobless, homeless, divorced and heartbroken. It was a nightmare.


...After that, I started to question what went wrong. In my mind the bottom line is simply this: Sex ruined everything! Without a doubt, the underlying cause to most of my troubles was blindly participating in the standard model of mating sex and suffering all its associated side effects. This is what caused the disorder in my life, everything from the disappointment of quick orgasm, unexpected pregnancy, relationship tension, fatigue from excessive ejaculation, to emotional distancing and all the ill effects of feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled. Wanting the pleasure of repeated orgasmic sex caused me to make unwise choices because of the longing within to find some sense of satisfaction in the world. Sometimes I think I’d have been better off being a Buddhist Monk in the forest of Thailand, but then again, I would still have suffered from the deep craving to be loved.

And because I didn’t know how to change anything in my involvements with women, I merely went on to the next relationship and started the same cycle over again. The sex started off great, but after a few months of the honeymoon period, the old familiar relationship issues began to surface as they always had. There were misunderstandings, fights, tension, and feelings of annoyance, followed by a passionate reconciliation, then another cycle of disconnection between us - round and round, same old thing - then came the financial conflicts, and dealing with the emotional baggage from our previous relationships with the “wrong” people, then heated disagreements over the most trivial things. Why was this happening again?

disharmony...When I unraveled this whole dynamic for myself, and learned the art of Karezza sex (a form of gentle, affectionate, Bonding Sex without orgasm or ejaculation) my life improved in ways that I never imagined possible. It restored the purpose of my life; it made me a conscious lover, able to serve and bring male nurturing and healing to one woman. Now I can make love to my womanevery day, for long periods of time, and not suffer any negative side effects. I never get tired of being with her and wanting to stay connected. I am nurtured by the divine love of a woman. I no longer feel any sexual tension and I don’t need to look at pornography or find different sexual partners to satisfy me. There is a feeling of complete equilibrium and calmness in me. And because we schedule time to make love for at least an hour every day, we look forward to it as a way to meditate and commune spiritually. My wife is now eager to connect with me and is very receptive to our sexual union as often as possible. Karezza sex has completely changed her attitude towards me and has altered her feelings about sex and about men in general. I realize now how healing this type of lovemaking is for both men and women....

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