Pornography got me involved with looking at homosexual imagery. And for years I was trying to convince myself I wasn't homosexual but without knowing where to find help. I do pretty well at the convincing, at times admitting to a desire of the male body to not caring where intimacy came from, having not gotten close enough to girls despite having lots of girl friends and a million other reasons. This makes me think I accepted these tastes a while ago and gave up fighting. Deep down I don't really accept it though and hence never went out and did anything homosexual in the 'real' world, which is why I'm here. I've read a bit on dopamine and can accept that it plays a large role to what I've been exposed to and wired myself up for so...
I'm 11 days into solid abstinence with the last use of pornography about 1 month ago. I've attempted it before but it's only been a reduction in use of pornography and masturbation.
I feel ok, a little physically and emotionally tired but mentally determined and less anxious, but as I get on into abstinence I initially noticed no desire/sensation/etc whatsoever. Now I get homo-erotic dreams as I sleep. This is one of the things that set me off when I was younger. Since I can't control dreams and they are very powerful because your body is relaxed and free to feel anything it tends to convince me there's something different about my sexuality.
Does anyone know how to deal with these? Should I just continually let the dreams and associated feelings pass until I have fully "rebooted"? I just don't know what to expect in the long-term as I want to think, feel and react, 100% straight?