24, reboot start 17th dec.

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Submitted by xero on
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Hello this is my first post here..
been off PMO starting dec. 17th, and i am anxious about some stuff......
1) My morning wood is improving day by day, but not on a daily basis.
2) lately, i get dreams of watching TRANSEXUAL PORN and actually get a load off while dreaming... although i wake up disturbed and i hate it! now in real life i am disgusted from porn and the act of masturbation.. i HATE IT NOW.. yet the dreams of me watching porn and masturbating dont want to leave!!!! THIS IS WHAT HOLDS MY PROGRESS BACK I KNOW IT!... any help???????

3) like 25 days passed... a day i feel fine and everything, and got a random erection! another day like NOW after this ridiculous dream i am anxious...

I was on Hash and porn for a long time .. i guess a year n a half or 2 ... porn viewing escalated till tranny stuff.. quit both drugs and porn AND masturbation on the 17th of dec. not intending to go back by any means, even to masturbate.....quit smoking cig.s 4 days ago.....

Please help... i need those dreams to get lost... I HATE IT!! I HATE TRANNIES!! and i know i would never ever be turned on with a real 1!

Seriously, my progression has been great but everytime i get 1 of those "watching porn and masturbating) dreams i get miserable...... and my penis goes back numb. I made my mind i am not gonna touch it, why does my brain does that subconsciously ?!?!? and will it be GONE FOR GOOD with time??!!! Even if it takes a year, 2 years, i have no problems... if i am gonna have a relationship or marry this is not gonna be before 3 years from now......... help.. :(

a day i feel like i want to talk with girls.. yesterday i was chatting with 1 and in the middle she stated that she loves mte and all of this teen years talk... this made my heart beat fast and i remember last time this happened i had the erection that would explode my penis... i didnt have any yesterday yet i had that inner feeling.....

today after my dream and split second orgasm..... i dont feel like talking to girls even.. i am so feeling bad. i am thinking of abstaining from everything... even having friendships... may be that will help?

umm...

well... i just want to know, in the end, will i be turned on by admiring a simple girl???? will i be able to feel that love again??? u know, those butterflies??? LIBIDO AT LEAST??! ANYTHING?!?!... haha, i am actually laughing on how anxious i am... in the past 6 years i studied a lot of things that caused anxiety, and always wondered what it really is n feels like...... here i am getting my share.. lol

Heh yeah I understand your

Heh yeah I understand your feelings, I've had them too and still have from time to time.

Yes, you will get turned on really easily by girls. A smile by a girl, a touch. Spontaneous erections. When you're in balance again you don't need hardcore porn or thoughts of hardcore porn to get aroused.

The anxiety is part of the process. Come to think of it, I've had quite a lot of anxiety back when I was masturbating way too much. But it never occured to me where that feeling of anxiety came from. It was this general feelings of discomfort. You know, you're walking on the street and you're feeling uncomfortable. A bit afraid of what might happen (while nothing happens).

I've noticed that this anxiety gets less and less. I've also noticed that other things get stronger... mostly the typical 'alpha'-stuff. That should really come in helpful when you're kickboxing :) Also, women will notice you more. You'll be acting more confident because you're not in search for 'porn-women' no more.

When it feels like a rollercoaster then you know you're rebooting. You see good signs, but they also fade away again. Don't worry, just keep on going. It takes a lot of time but it's all worth it. Personally so far I haven't been able to reboot like some of the guys here do. They start and somehow hang in there for a full 90 day reboot. My best so far was 35 days but I'll keep on going and trying. You should too, we'll get there in time. Even if it takes 1 or 2 years, think of all the many good years that will follow!

:)

Actually... i never had a problem being the "alpha" any time in my life... I am a muslim, so having sex b4 marriage is a big sin, although i did it a couple of times, i guess this was another reason for slipping into porn, coz i always said i am gonna do this instead of the other, which is cure a problem by another bad habit... and there u go...

I just came back from the hospital where i do my internship now, i was talking with a girl n i got this tingling feeling down there, felt some kind of "flaccid enlargement" + precum... i dont know if that is fine or not for rebooting... but thu, this feeling been absent for a long long time :)... now i am gonna wait n wait n wait n pray, i just hope my erections get back to the solid boner state again :)

You're doing fine

Your brain is just waffling between returning to balance and trying to "sneak" a dopamine hit from extreme porn. Quite honestly, it doesn't know the difference between "tranny" "underage" and anything else. It's all cartoons to your brain...except that some "cartoons" have a bigger neurochemical charge, because *you* judged them as hotter or edgier or more anxiety-producing when you watched them.

Porn isn't like other drugs in the sense that flashbacks can pop up for a long time. The less attention and the less significance you give them, the less "neurochemical hit" your brain gets from them. All addictions lead to sensitized brain pathways that can be activated for a long time. They don't "mean" anything.

And they certainly won't keep you from finding real women appealing...except maybe for a bit after one of those silly dreams. That's due to the neurochemical whack from intense stimulation...which is what caused your cravings for stronger and edgier material in the first place.

For more your particular issue, see this FAQ: http://yourbrainonporn.com/ask-us-iam-attracted-to-gay-transsexual

A lot of it also applies to flashbacks and dreams. They'll fade with time...if you just ignore them and don't over-react.

*big hug*

Excellent... porn n

Excellent... porn n masturbation are history to me any way... its a matter of time to forget all of this nonsense + get my erections back..... will update when a dramatic improvement is seen. Thank you.

Thanks a lot

Need to learn music thu, all of this stuff is just from ear and mind... will start to learn from scratch soon :) sure will post more with time!

Without discipline chaos is inevitable and man will rush after his desires blindly.
Ossu.

:)

Just recorded another 1.. Wink

Without discipline chaos is inevitable and man will rush after his desires blindly.
Ossu.

oww

Ill be posting them on my blog
Without discipline chaos is inevitable and man will rush after his desires blindly.
Ossu.