Day 11 Feelings & Withdrawal

Submitted by bozzi6 on
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I'm 19 years old and started PMO at age 12. All the way through middle and high school i've been shy, introverted and suffered social anxiety - I didn't connect to anyone even though deep inside I wanted to make good bonds. I've always thought I was abnormal and blamed it on genetic causes up untill i came across this website.

During my later years of using porn daily (aged 15-19) my tastes for porn have progressed to more extreme material which i've been increasingly discusted about. It went from from pictures of naked women to fetishes and even to the shemale material which has caused me to develop anxiety that i'm gay, but i only like women in real life.

I have had relationships with girls, and had sexual experiences with them except for sexual intercourse - i'm a virgin at 19 and feel odd. I have ED - i couldnt get it up for 4 seperate occasions for 4 different girls. This has all added to my anxiety. I feel down everyday with thoughts running through my head at 100mph I don't feel myself. I feel hopeless.

I've decided to stop PMO for the first time to see if this is the solution to my train-brain of problems and negativity of destruction.

I'm on day 11, i feel anxious, tired, dull, i have sharp pains in my head near the front, straining eyes, irritability, depersonalized feelings, those gay thoughts that i extremly hate, i am anger fueled - my emotions are all over the place, and my balls are huge at the moment. I hope enduring all this will cure me naturally.

I also had a wet dream last night. In the dream I was back at school actually speaking to people and interacting with girls! My dream was mainly about school and there was people involved that i knew, it was so vivid. Also i watched porn in my dream, i was looking at a monitor filled with pictures of all my fetish fantasies, i couldnt resist - i had an orgasm. I then woke up, looked down and saw the patch, my load was 10x bigger than usual. I then felt bad thinking my brain has found a new way to relapse (during sleep), i hope not :(.

Don't worry about the wet dream!

I also had a wet dream around the same time, like the 11th or the 12th day into my reboot. I think it was basically because i was charged up due to the fact that i had made out with a girl earlier that day. I really couldn't stop it(Mine was also with some weird porn fantasies), but there were no chasers to that so that was good.

I read somewhere on the site that this is just a sign of your body adapting to the new change. Look at the positive side, you let go of the horniness without actually indulging in the PMO. So you are good to keep rebooting.

Hi

Sorry for what you've been through. Hopefully you'll hit the flatline before long and get a bit of relief.

Wet dreams are just part of the ride. Here's an FAQ, which shows how differently they can affect people. http://yourbrainonporn.com/wet-dreams

Your story is so classic that I think the chances are good that porn is part of your troubles. The escalation is usually a sign of addiction-related brain changes, of which ED is also one. So your reboot might be worth all the misery. Smile Good luck with it.

It's great that you find it easy to attract women, despite your woes. Friendly contact and flirting are very good for your recovery. Just don't rush the sex. This post might be useful: http://yourbrainonporn.com/started-internet-porn-and-my-reboot-ed-taking...

Start your own blog if you prefer.

Thank you

After all these years of suffereng and I come across your website, its given me a ray of hope and strength to proceed. Thanks to you marnia :)

I have been intrested in creating a blog but I don't know how to go about doing that