18year old startet PMO

Submitted by SameThat on
Printer-friendly version

Hey guys,

I`m new on this site and 18 years old. English is not my mother language so keep this in mind =)

I have noticed that my libido is lower than years before. To increase it , I tried not to masturbate for a few days. In every case I did this my libido grew. Then I thougth why it isn't a permanent state and came to one site which addressed the subject "PMO". I tried not to watch porn and not masturbate and ejaculate and at day 2 or 3 my libido was already at zero!
This was a very big surprise, because i have never been in this situation in my past. Then someone said it is a flatline ( who is also in this forum) and I was sure that it was the right diagnosis.
Today , it's day 7 of the No-PMO-challenge. And yes, I've read reboot-reports from guys which also suffered from the flatline. What I doesn't get, is why my flatline occured almost immediately at this challenge.
So, I want to keep this on for some weeks and I try to post daily my results and state.

If you have anything to say, just do it !

Greetings,
SameThat

Hi SameThat

I'm at day 14 and i have been flatlining since day 3 or 4. That's not so fun but at least it makes your reboot easier for a while ! I haven't seen many girls in the last few days, so maybe it don't help to awake my libido. I have heard that it can last 6 weeks.
Good luck and don't try to test your libido too soon !

I know this site,

and it's interesting that my genitals didn't shrink or i didn't noticed Acute What I hate most is that my concentration is really bad. i also know that this often happens, but it's still annoying because I needed some time to find out that this came from my challenge.

Thank you guys,

till today I have not really big problems. I'm just not sure, how much I should limitate my sexual thoughts. I only rarely masturbate ( it's actually nothing compared to the situation before "no-PMO"), and try not to think of unrealistic fantasies like porn etc. Is this already a fence for my rebooting-process ?
And one more question, because it really interests me. I've read some reports of guys doing the same challenge and posting their benefits.
One of that is a growth of confidence. Do you have any idea how I could support that related to this competition? I mean, somehow it sounds logic to me because a healthy sexuality is connected with confidence, but I'm not sure if all men would get this benefit.

Confidence

It just seems to increase naturally in many guys as they disconnect from porn. But you *can* do things to speed the process. They may be tough at first, though. Here are ideas: http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-to-connect-with-others

Yes, avoiding fantasy is usually beneficial. After some weeks, you may want to add in self-massage (not trying to produce erection or orgasm): http://yourbrainonporn.com/started-internet-porn-and-my-reboot-ed-taking...

Day 10 and

last night I couldn't resist masturbating ( but still without orgasm or porn) because I had natural thoughts and feelings.
Also there are other effects: My voice is deeper ( when I resist masturbating or having sexual thoughts it is even better) and powerful - but there are phases when it's getting worse again. I have phases where I'm feeling more confident and the last but not least:
My acne got better! I'm really loving it!
So, I do not have problems resisting watching porn or orgasm but for me it's difficult to resist sexual thoughts. I have phases, where I'm masturbating more and less. My worst phases are when it is night, like the last night. But as I mentioned I allowed it to myself because it felt so natural but still I think it would have been beneficial if i had resisted it.

Day 12 and today

my positive effects were nearly gone. My skin didn't change, but my voice was higher again and I felt no real boost of confidence anymore.
I hate it, because the last two days I was really strict with the challenge , so I haven't masturbated nearly at all and also could limit my fantasies better.
@marnia, what do you mean with sensation? I have sexual thoughts , when I'm masturbating but they are not porn-like!
If I'm honest it is long ago that I masturbated to classic porn, neither in my mind nor in front of the computer. But it's some time ago , that I have developed a fetish, which is like a kind of exotic or abnormal sexual fetish , and I think that this is my problem. It is really tricky because in past I always felt bad after fantasizing about this fetish, but I do not consider this as "dirty porn" , but rather sth. of "forbidden or abnormal sexual thoughts".
So, when I'm fantasizing or masturbating it is related to my fetish or to "normal girls". I don't understand why it is bad that I cannot fantasize about normal girls, because the brain is trained to forget the old , unrealistic thoughts and has to be content about normal, natural thoughts, right? If I only give the brain this natural thoughts ,why is it harmful for my reboot?

Maybe I haven't

understood the chaser effect? I thought the chaser effect is like this for example: You think of a normal girl and have normal fantasies. After a while, you have the desire to have harder and dirtier fantasies and so on till you have the same desire as before your abstinence.

Did you read the chaser article?

What you're talking about is "tolerance," or escalation to more extreme material. That's normal during the chaser, but the chaser itself is a neurochemical shift after intense stimulation...which soon leaves you hungrier than ever...rather than satisfied.

Yes, masturbating to your fetish...whatever it is...can keep you from finding satisfaction during normal sex. Here's an article about a guy who experimented with unhooking from his fetish about anal sex: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201004/porn-an...

Try masturbating without any fantasy, just focusing on the feelings and not using more pressure than you would experience during real sex. What happens...or doesn't?

That's surprising me,

because if I only focus on the sensation, most of the cases the hornyness( and erection) goes away. And that really quickly^^
I think that's what you meant by " it's not your true libido " and yes I can support that. The proof is that today my libido is totally zero. Yesterday it was just low but today it's really nothing.
And I've also read the article. But I want to emphasize that I don't even wish the end of my flatline that much but rather the benefits. These were very important for my motivation.

Hey SameThat Welcome buddy!

Hey SameThat

Welcome buddy!

Glad that you're following my tips.

1) rebooting isn't linear: your deep voice can come and go as it pleases. Some days you have amazing concentration and work ethics, and other days you're feeling like crap.

2) you say that when you focus on the sensation, the horniness goes away? That means that you're not sensitive enough yet. Meaning you still need some time to reboot.

For me the big change in this reboot, was to meditate. This one has helped me tremendously.

Another great thing is to install K9 on ALL YOUR INTERNET ACCESS, and give the password to somebody. Especially in my early days, I really had to be carefull not to "binge" if I could get access to porn.

3) No PMO (porn-masturbation-orgasm) is the quickest way to reboot. I noticed this very strongly. After my first 21 days of no PMO, the flatline was gone and my libido started to return. I also had morning wood for 2 weeks straight.

Thank you High_Achiever !

In the beginning P. and O. -resisting was no problem only a bit the masturbation. But even at the beginning I was only rarely masturbating ( in comparison before the challenge that was nothing!) and in the last days I didn't masturbate at all! Before PMO it was a challenge for me not to touch my penis for ( only) 10 minutes !! So that's a huge difference already. You recommended the porn-blocker, but in the last time my thoughts and sexual desire was almost only concerned to my fetish, which wouldn't be considered as "porn". Of course the porn blocker also won't notice that. So, like I said ALL 3 Letters ( P,M,O) are no problem only have problems with fantasizing. I also meditate like this : I close my eyes , while sitting with a straight attitude and just don't focus on nothing. Try to have no thoughts , an empty mind etc.
This last about 10-15 min. Today I was doing my favorite sport, and now I also feel no desire to even think about any sexual things.
This leads to another question: I think your confidence ( and probably also other things) has improved and is quite stable ? So, then you should better know what you want to achieve in life, and what is unnecessary. Did this happen to you? I mean are you more aware of yourself and what you can do and what you want to do?
Similar question: If you do things which represent your identity ( things for which you have passion) is your reboot also speeding up?
Maybe it's hard to understand the last 2 questions. So , you can ask whatever you want , if you want to answer.

And it's a good feeling that you had at least a bit similarities related to the rebooting process. Although you might be almost finished with your reboot, I wish you good luck!

Day 15

and actually there are still no improvements. Only thing is, when I fantasize and then focus on my sensation that the bit of erection doesn't go that fast away like some days before. So, I think that this is more and more the real libido.

Can you explain your fetish?

Can you explain your fetish? Because there are a lot of men who have fetishes on this website. If it is a sexual fetish, then it's best to let it go for the reboot.

You shouldn't expect improvements so soon. I've said this as well in the postmasculine forum. You're going to have ups and downs and right now you're experiencing lows. Besides you should congratulate yourself! 15 days is already a great step in the right direction.

I also wouldn't include visualization. Like I said earlier, this reboot proces goes so much quicker when you exclude all forms of sexual contact (except real life women).

If you read my blog, you'll notice that I speed up my reboot process a lot when I went no PMO.

Thank you

I've read the links.
I think that porn personally got boring already before 1-2 years. I mean that boring that I more used it because of boredom than for satisfaction. But still I always wanted the satisfaction although I knew that porn is hardly able to do that. Also, a big problem could be the edging. Masturbating for hours and in this timespan I would have been many times nearly(!) to the point of no return. Then I waited a bit and started again etc. Actually I know that I should remove my fetish because if I have these kind of thoughts my natural thoughts go away quite quickly. Even at my good days of the reboot.Because if I begin thinking about the fetish (don't want to explain it actually) it escalates a bit more and more and within 10min my brain don't want to think of natural fantasies. So, for my brain this should be also a type of porn. So I try not to do this.

Day 18

and my voice started to get deeper again. Note, that it is not like in the first week but maybe it will get better tomorrow or the next days. On the other hand, my acne got worse so that it is like in the original state again.This SUCKS!!! I was so happy and now I have my problem back. I hope that my acne will get better again.... The fact, that the rebooting process is not linear could be a help for my motivation.
PS: Yes I think visualization should be banned,too.

Day 21

and for the last 2 days I really tried avoid any fanatsy. So I began again avoiding fantasy at Monday. On Tuesday my skin was suddenly better. Today, Wednesday it was a bit better again, so you see that fantasizing is a huge factor for my succes/benefits. I don't know why, but today it was really really hard to avoid fantasy. For the last 2 days ( and in another phase of my reboot) it took me about 5min to resist the fantasy and it would go away for a while. But not today: it was a fight between me and my brain for hours... So at the end I fantasized a bit and now my desire is gone away. As you can see,1 day of fantasizing / not fantasizing will have already effects on the next day! So, now I can use my skin as a indicator how consequent I am with this reboot. I also think meditating helps a lot to avoid fantasy, but I really have to push my self -every. single.time. So I hope my skin will get even better the next days.

Day 22

In the morning my skin was still "good". In the afternoon I fantasized more than usual in my reboot and I think that my skin got slightly already worse. I've allowed it to myself in order to see how fast my skin will change. So the result is. that my skin changes in less than 24 hours in both directions ( pos. or neg.).If I could be able to resist fantasy ( including no-PMO) every day than my skin and other benefits would progressively improve. But it is damn hard not to fantasize, or it's just hard for me. I sometimes really think that I will never be able to keep distance from porn fantasy especially for my fetish. We will see.

Interesting

I think the fetish may have to go. Trouble is, it's so "reliable" as a stimulating brain pathway, that it's hard to let go of it, I'm sure. Maybe have a look at this post, which, despite its title, is just about brain plasticity: ‘Straight Men, Gay Porn’ and Other Brain Map Mysteries

When you try to stop something you're hooked on, the urges for it get stronger at first. Here's why: Why Do I Find Porn More Exciting Than A Partner? (You can read it as "Why do I find my fetish more exciting than other stimuli?")

I want to say

that my fetish only exists (and existed!) in my mind. I've never lived it out. Maybe I was at 10% of the stimulation, which I fantasized in my head The problem is that the most intense cravings for my fetish are in "weak situations". When I e.g. try to sleep I have to avoid my fetish thoughts. After a while it's much easier and eventually they don't come anymore and when I nearly fall asleep, it comes back again.So my concentration while trying to sleep is focused on my thoughts which means I mustn't fall asleep for a long time if I don't want to have the wrong thoughts. Yesterday it needed a very long time till I fall asleep, which of course have bad consequences for the next day because of lack of concentration etc.
-------------------------------
I've also noticed that if I avoid my fetish thoughts( especially the fetish but also sexual thoughts in general)my mind becomes more clear. This needs some hours and then I don't feel dumb anymore and also feeling more awake. Like there is piece in my mind and no bullshit any more.
(Yesterday I strictly avoided sexual thoughts and my skin didn't improve much,but it might be because of the fact, that I'm sick and my skin is a bit worse because of that.) That's why I don't want to post " Day 26". I will post a real report when I have benefits again.

Day 30,

and actually no differences. I'm still flatlining and ill since last week. No real benefits. Only, that if I grew a pickle it decreases the next day. Before no-PMO it would have got worse.

Day 34,

I have the feeling that in the last 2 days my flatline has expanded: I'm not only still having an apathy against women but also against porn and (!) my fetish. It's like I'm in kind of a "neutral" state.But still I don't have the type of benefits like in the beginning. Although I'm nearly at Week 5.

That's normal

Many guys see powerful initial improvements. Then a drop backward. Eventually the gains return and they're much more stable. Weird.

That's why we say rebooting isn't linear....

Thank you

for the answer. So, when you say "eventually" you mean that if s.o. has had initial improvements already in his reboot, they will surely get more stable? Or are we only talking about chances? I think it is about 2 weeks ago that I've had mentionable benefits. Is this length also normal?

Relapse !

and I couldn't write anyhting because the site didn't work.
So, on Day 45( last Saturday) I have relapsed and I have immediately return to my reboot.
I've read that this will make a step backwards, giving a worse chaser ( or let's say it is harder to keep the discipline again). Also, others wrote that if they watched porn -even if it was not long- that it harmed their benefits etc.
What I can say is that I have NO bad effects after it, so my state didn't get worse in any aspect. And actually, the feelings are really the same like before the reboot. Now, I try to do the reboot even more strict, no looking at pics, not much internet use ( which could remind me of porn etc)etc. And now I somehow have a bigger motivation to do it even better.

PS: The relapse was not caused by big hornyness. It was more of boredum, so I began to masturbate and the orgasm itself, was just a surprise.

2nd Try, Day 3

I'm still flatlining ( like in the 1st try)and still have apathy . My skin is since several weeks only slightly better( less pickles but skin itself nearly the same. Before reboot social anxiety was a bit higher but since 4 weeks my reboot has not changed. Even not after the relapse...
And one question: You guys say the more sexual contact ( any kind!) you avoid the faster it goes. Of course if your healthy libido comes back ( so reboot is nearly completed) you should go out and meet girls etc. But what if the apathy is still there? And does it count when the penis is after waking up in the morning about 10% larger, I mean is this already an improvement doesn't it count because the difference has to be bigger?

No one got kicked out

We just wanted to make sure you had support because we're traveling.

Sorry about the relapse. Yes, female contact is good. It's fantasizing/Internet porn that seem to hold guys back.

2nd Relapse after

Day 11. When I began my 1st reboot I knew that it was a bad point of time, but I tried it because I didn't want to make excuses.So, at the end of the next week I should have a more relaxed time again. This week and the next are a big discipline-eater, so the relapse are not surprising. I just hate that it is my 2nd relapse , argh!

Something "learned " ?!

It's only a few days ago, that I noticed that I get some benefits when I was learning ( for school). While and after learning my brain felt less numb. As I said much earlier, the more clear my mind is the bigger the benefits are. So,the benefits after learning were a deeper voice and a better skin. Both improvements still can't be compared with those at my best days. Since I have to learn for this week very very much the benefits decreased again. Maybe because it was too much?

This is also the reason, why I asked if contact with real women is good for me. Because it seems the more my lifestyle resembles the one in a monastery, the greater my benefits are ?! LOL
On top of this, I think when I'm doing the "right things" ( happens just due to luck) my benefits come really fast. So from the beginning it was, avoiding P+O then M, then the F was important and then things like learning?! In contrast to this, everything which makes my mind feeling dump ( not only porn !!) using smartphone , using the internet, playing videogames, maybe also fantasizing / daydreaming in general leads to decrease of benefits. And until now socializing with women/men didn't helped me.

That's interesting

There seem to be phases in some recoveries too. That is, socializing may not "work" now, but may be very beneficial down the road. Similarly, some guys notice that their erections come back before their general horniness (or vice versa). This suggests to me that different aspects of brain imbalance heal at different times...in different people.

Good luck and keep going!

Hey samethat!

Hey samethat!

Good job on your progress! Don't worry about that relapse after day 11. Just remember to keep going and keep in mind that this is a journey. Just learn from every relapse and make sure that you'll get stronger out of it. In the long run, you'll be almost guaranteed to beat this!

I have to agree with marnia here. Indeed, some parts of the brain heal differently and at different times. Perhaps this is also why some men report different withdrawal symtomps. I remember that when my morning wood was returning, my libido returned. Later my voice became deeper, my focus improved etc.. On the focus thing, I've just read 160 pages in 4 hours with only toilet breaks... This used to take a whole lot longer for me.

Remember that your positive experiences will only become stronger!

Thank you guys!

I really want to continue, no matter how often I will relapse. At least I have no problems to watch porn and I don't want to watch porn ever again. I mean after many months, just leaving out the porn should lead to at least some benefits. What do you think?
And one question: I don't know when it was but it is only a few days ago that i woke up and I had still had no morning wood. I have not thought about any sexual things and after 5-10 min. I had an erection about 70%, which lasted also about 10-15min. During this time it got weaker and stronger again,then weaker etc. So I thought maybe i thought a that my penis might be more sensitive than at other times and so every little sexual thought could lead to this. I mean normally I really know when I think about sexual things. So did this happen to someone? Maybe the brain has to learn "the time" for letting an erection happen in the morning? This would mean that it counts a little bit as morning wood. Hmm.

Wow ,this answer was really fast!

Thanks.
" You start to lose all desire for sex. At that point, I started to panic, I tried to force fantasy with little to no results on the penis.
Many times I would try to fantasize and I had a hard time constructing a fantasy at all"
A quote from the text.
I was already at that point. Do you think that I was quite far with the reboot? The first improvement related to my fantasy was, losing interest in my werid-porn-fetish (meaning not the classic porn). If I would think at realistic situation, real women etc. I could get an erection. At the 3rd stage there was no feeling to anything! And that's why I relapsed BOTH times! It was this boredom ,so I intentionally thought about Women. Nothing happened. Than a greater step: thinking about porn. Thinking about my werid fetish. Nothing happened. Masturbating? Nothing happened. And then I started to panic. It was this painful boredom, not being interested in sexual things.

3rd Relapse on 31.March

So it's 2 days ago and I have to say the orgasm of my 3.rd relapse felt much better. Also, I do not have any problems to continue with my reboot. Until today I have achieved 76 days without watching or reading porn. For the first time I didn't had a bad conscience at all when I orgasmed. I do not have any cravings for porn. Also I do not have withdrawal symptoms for some weeks, I think.
My bigger problem is that I really want to have benefits. Sometimes I think that sitting in front of the PC, watching Tv,playing videogames could be harmful for my reboot. But I remember when I had my greatest benefits I watched TV/PC, so I really don't understand it. A few days ago, I started to play videogames again and the situation didn't get worse. But I have this feeling in my brain after having a session of TV7PC or playing, which is a bit of numb. It reminds me like the feeling after watching porn but it is of course not that intense.
Has it sth. to do with the same activated regions in the brain? Maybe the brain does not differ much between a release of dopamine due to porn or to TV/playing games.
I've noticed also that it got much easier for me to avoid P,M,O and F and I draw 2 conclusions:
1)Either this is an improvement or 2) I have replaced my porn addiction with other things (TV,PC,games).

- A post about my relapses -

I've noticed that every time I relapsed ( 3 times ) it was a surprise. Before my reboot I was knowing when I would come, meaning that : the bigger the hornyness was the closer I am to orgasm. That is actually logic. But while rebooting my orgasms came before I was really horny. In my last relapse I actually thought that I couldn't ejaculate even if I wanted so. So it is like my brain is more sensitive to normal things but my penis not. Like the communication between them is really bad (lol). What does it mean when it is easier to ejaculate than before rebooting? Is this a good sign or not?

Thanks I have

made a journal there.
What I found out: Being in the moment is essential for my benefits. Because I am daydreaming a lot ( avoiding the sexual ones)this will always kick me out of the moment. Yesterday I was watching a series in TV, in which there a woman who I never considered as hot. Somehow I achieved to be in the moment ( by breathing deeply and not think at anything)and my mind became clearer (!) and my penis was a bit errected but if felt sooooooooooooooo natural and "healthy". I mean so natural that you just know it is not the porn libido.
And since I always get benefits when my mind feels totally clear, this should be the key to success. When I have enough discipline I should really meditate much and regularly again.