I'm 34 years old and I've never experience any pleasure while having sex with with any of the 3 women I've slept with, including a girlfriend I had sex with a hundred or more times. I recieve little pleasure with or without a condom. My penis is capable of pleasure when I masturbate, however, I require rough surfaces or significant friction to derive pleasure. The most pleasure I get is if I put lots of lube inside a condom and masturbate by sliding the condom tightly over my penis. I've only had a brief problem with ED when I was 19, but never had any problems with ED with the 2 other partners after that point, whom I met several years later at age 27 onward.
I believe the cause of my lack of sensation is 20+ years of rough masturbation techniques, which included porn involving obsessively looking for specific types of women's bodies. While I've always desired deep meaningful romantic relationships and respected women for 'who they are' rather than just their bodies, I've had this 'other world' of porn and I think it may be a big contributing factor to my lack of enjoyment with women. I never got into any bizarre types of porn, just basic standard sex, but I think the constant flipping around to different videos in search of 'ideal' women might also have had a negative effect. Though, I'm not completely sure to what degree the porn is responsible since I can still get masturbation pleasure with the rough methods even without any porn or fantasy.
I've come across the YourBrainOnPorn site a few months ago and have decided to abstain from all porn, masturbation, and fantasy for a period of 84 days. I'm going to abstain from porn permanently, and will see how I feel after the 84 days about the rest of the stuff. Perhaps this will turn into a longer experiment. I'm considering only pursuing real sexual experiences once the 84 days is done and forgo any masturbation indefinitely. I'll see how things go in that regard.
I haven't had sex in about 3 years so I can't be sure if I am healed at all. What tells me that I'm not is that if I put a condom on and put lube on the outside and stroke my penis I feel very little sensation with any level of tightness. A friend of mine says that light stroking in that way gives him significant pleasure. So, it would seem I'm still desensitized.
I'm currently at day 37 of my experiment and I tested my penis using the condom method described above, with just a few strokes to see if anything changed, but there was still very little pleasure, so it would seem there has been no change. Perhaps it is too early expect any different, however, part of me is worrying that the problem is purely the nerves of the penis and not in the brain.
I'm wondering if anyone has had similar experiences and success in restoring penis sensation in the regard. Any insights would be greatly appreciated.