Is the reboot a cumulative process?

Submitted by adamkodee on
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I guess if we're being really technical, I've been rebooting for about 4 months now.

The first month or so I was with someone who accepted my issues, but wasn't willing to give up the sex. We would have sex (to O) once or twice a week on the weekends. All the while, I would abstain from PM the remainder of the time.

We broke up around Thanksgiving time and I relapsed to PMO for about a week. I imagine that relapse was a complete setback to square one. Or was it?

From the beginning of December, I went about 3 weeks with no PMO and relapsed once on Dec. 23rd.

Since then, I've been good until about yesterday, when I peeked at P. It's been 5 and a half weeks.

Now I'm wondering what else there is to expect. I feel like I'm coming out of flatline now, but I'm not really feeling horniness as much as just being jittery and anxious. For those of you with similar reboots (if you are out there) how much longer do you think I should expect before I'm cured of ED?

I realize the reboot is not linear and that no two reboots are going to be exactly alike. I also know I'd like to give up P forever and that counting the days is just pointless. But let's call it the anxiousness turning into impatience. What am I in for as libido comes back? Is it tricking me into thinking I'm actually cured?

I'm also not with anyone at the moment, nor do I have any romantic prospects on the horizon, nor any friends or cuddle buddies. I'm just sitting at home, telling myself not to turn the computer on.

I can't help but feel I'm that little boy again, sitting in the backseat. And just like that little boy, I'm reciting a futile mantra. Are we there yet?

Comments

Medication. The last time we

Medication.

The last time we had sex back in November, I actually felt more connected to her. I wasn't fantasizing and tried to be more in the moment. As a result, I came to O much quicker than I have in the past. Unfortunately, it was the last time I've had sex. There isn't much sex on the horizon either, so there really isn't much of a chance to test. For now, I'll just have faith in the reboot and keep carrying on.