Submitted by emc on
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I see that Marnia has posted a link to the AYP forum under the Wisdom section:

I'm happy to find that and would just like to put in a word for that site. It's full of spiritual knowledge and I found it some 3 years ago - not having any former experience of yoga or spirituality whatsoever. I got enormous help to understand what was happening to me during my first awakenings to a new world of inner space... so don't hesitate to check it out because of the name of the site! =)

Yogani - an anonymous spiritual teacher who shares his knowledge FOR FREE through the web site -is totally on the same line as promoted here on this great site! His lessons on tantra contains both spiritual background info and practical advice on how to reach higher levels of ecstacy through pre-orgasmic sex. Please, check the site out for yourselves:

In my experience, daily deep meditation has increased the speed of my deeper understandings and ever increasing ecstacy during love making. I would not have understood so much about the functionings of the sexual energy without the inner stillness cultivated by meditation. It's like... it's yin and yang that's going to get married inside. And through meditation Yang/Shiva (the male, the consciousness) is cultivated, and through physical love making Yin/Shakti (the female, the life force, kundalini) is cultivated - the sexual energy is transformed to higher and higher levels when not spilled out through orgasm.

So combining lovemaking without orgasm with daily deep meditation is working from two sides, bringing much faster results! I recommend the site from the bottom of my heart.

If you start having lots of new inner sensations of tingeling, buzzing, ringing in the ears, feelings of spacyness, ecstacy, dizziness etc, you'll have all the answers what that is about on that site! It's spirit waking up inside and deep transformation occurring!

(Yes, I write as emc on that forum as well.)

Meditation and AYP

Hi, emc. Your post and suggestions today have been incredibly timely for me, and I thank you. I worked through the Exchanges in PBTS for a solid two years with my former partner, in what turned out to be a losing battle. After two years of celibacy, I've found a new partner... a partner willing to "try something different" in the bedroom. He's never had any experience with pre-orgasmic sex, and well, my attempts were unsuccessful as well.

I've been going back and forth about how to approach this. As the seemingly more experienced one, I feel as though I must take the lead, but I feel a little like the blind leading the blind. I've shown him Marnia's YouTube video, and he's read through a great deal of the Science portion of this website, but I'm feeling increasingly hesitant about handing over the book to him. At first I thought maybe it was just fear, but my intuition is telling me that it is something else.

Please take no offense to this, Marnia... While I strongly agree with all the principles and concepts presented in PBTS, I can see that I have two years of pain and confusion tied up within it's pages. I don't feel that there is anyway I could go through the Exchanges again *as written* with another partner, without the dreaded expectation of failure. I feel as though I need another approach - to the same end - if I am going to be able to make this work.

In addition to this, and also related to the recently-discovered forum on POIS, I'm again becoming aware that in the years I spent struggling with my last partner, I believe I've developed a phobia of orgasm. I mean that it literally feels like my insides are getting tied up in knots when I think about the possibility of even a "slip" during the learning process. This is not working in my favor at the moment. I think it also has a lot to do with my not-so-subconscious fear of being used by any man for sexual pleasure. I want lovemaking to be a selfless, healing act. That is why I've chosen this path, but I don't want to be terrified in the process of learning how that works.

I've read through several of the lessons at the AYP website, and I really appreciate the presentation of the material, the methods, and the easy-going feeling about it. I really appreciate also your comments about the benefits of meditation, emc, as I'm starting to feel as though that may be the necessary way for me begin to release my fears that have been so tangled up with ideas about intimacy.

I'm very grateful for your post. It's given me a lot to think about. Welcome to the neighborhood. :)


Hi Marnia, and thanks for your reminder:

"We try to keep commercial postings to a minimum here...since not everyone has such great taste. ".

I find it a bit confusing to receive that reminder, though, when the introduction text to this forum is:

"Post links to relevant web sites or articles that promote a similar approach to intimate relationships. Discuss other traditions (like Taoism, Gnosticism, Karezza, Kabbalah, courtly love...)."

It sure sounds like an invitation to share links that promote a similar approach... What am I supposed to post in this forum in order not to also make it look like a commercial posting?

All the best, emc


I had forgotten how my webmaster described that section of the forum. Thanks for the reminder. What you posted is just fine. I just automatically remind people when they start posting links, as often they tend to post more commercial ones, too.


Thanks for your comment and I'm very happy you found the post useful!

Yes, I have come to learn that forcing a new behaviour into your life doesn't work very well. When inner stillness is cultivated through meditation, it miraculously solves many problems and sort of prepares the ground for a new behaviour to start growing.

When I talk about what karezza or pre-orgasmic sex is about with beginners, I describe it as

Meditation during love making!

In meditation we use an object to focus our attention on - breath, feeling, a mantra or the like. If all attention is focused on the sensations in the body while doing karezza, it is the same as meditation but now the "object" is all sensations that occur in the body.

That awareness of all sensations in the body is actually the consciousness taking in direct perception - direct experience - and it's all happening NOW. And NOW is what Eckhart Tolle and all the other sages are so excited about! :) People struggle for years to find that precious moment of NOW... and then... it's right here all the time! If we just put our awareness inside our bodies and feel what's going on, not rejecting any sensation, but just watch it and feel it intensely... then we are right here, right now and that's as REAL as we can become! That's not passing through our minds and thoughts... it just IS what it IS... sensation... and when we really dive into that moment, miracles start to happen! :D

So, there is a point in practicing meditation outside of lovemaking and then when we get a hang of it... just take that meditation with you into lovemaking and... tadaaam... You will enter the cosmos!