Hello everyone. I've been lurking around the forums and website for several months, reading around.
Now I feel it's the time to stop lurking, for I have something that is getting beyond my control.
First of all.
I am in a relationship with a guy for almost 3 years now. We were close friends first, then became a couple after we both saw we were obviously into each other when we spent a day together on my birthday.
Throughout the whole time to now, we've been close. We treat other like friends and a bit like family also, other than just lovers. Though we do hit a lot of bumps down the road(I have Inattentive ADD), we turn to each other for any kind of help and we talk about almost everything.
We're still young, around our early 20s, but we're both committed to each other.
My partner is a very sexual person. He enjoys having sex with me whenever the opportunity comes. He also gropes me a lot, and stores a lot of hentai and porn on his computer, and looks at them weekly, usually.
I have done the same, but at a much lesser level.
About half a year ago, I ran into this place and read some of the articles. I was greatly surprised about the negative effects of orgasm-driven sex, and I tried sharing this with my partner. I suggested we should probably change things a bit, so we can get out of the dopamine cycle and improve our lives, even if it's at least a bit.
To the point, it didn't turn out too well...he was afraid of the change. He didn't want me to change.
So somewhere along the line, I forgot about things. As a result though, I started looking at porn at lot less.
Now just recently, I remembered about it.
I tried to come up with an idea and told him how we should try absolute abstinence for a whole month(no sex, no porn, no masturbation), to see if our bodies show any signs of withdrawal, then try to work on things from there.
He told me that it feels like quite the punishment, that I have no idea what it is like for a man not being able to release for a long period of time.
I tried to explain to him that I do, and I really do, as I read a lot. And what we were gonna try is not permanent, and we can take small steps if a whole month is too much. Like one week of it, then a break, then go for 2 weeks, and so on.
The responses I got from him were the opposite of what I expected. He just feels things will never be the same again(negatively), and he now refuses to have sex with me as it was tainted...
...And now he doesn't feel like talking, and he refuses my help. He doesn't want help from me anymore, in general. And he won't let me help as much as I express I won't listen to that.
Right now he's pissed off at me for me trying to say he's probably upset and should rest and think about it. He snapped when he thought I was telling him how he feels...
Right now I just don't know what to do. From that talk I just feel a bit broken. I feel he hates me a bit right now...
I want to help make things better for us, but I don't want to push him. And I don't know how to have him hear me out better...
I've told him about this place before and to take a look. But I don't think he has...
If some things sound confusing, I apologize. It's a bit hard for me to make things clear sometimes..
Is there anything I can do about this...?