My benefits of the Exchanges (and non-orgasming)

Submitted by fleur_rare on
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Exchanges/being with sweetheart/non-orgasming (till day 30):

The most important thing that happened after around 12 days of sleeping together (2 times in the same room, the rest in the same bed):
Usually I wake up and feel anxious, like "oh god, DUTIES, oh no!!" Some kind of "morning fear" that has been there very often and for many years now. It just vanished around day 12 of sleeping together. (and I didn't even notice!! I noticed 10 days later, because I remembered having shared this morning-feeling with sweetheart) (the anxiety came back after around 6 days of being apart)

The most important thing that happened to him, was starting a long postponed project that he was unable to start with before. Too much pressure of too many people, so he did not start it for years (out of rebellion? some sabotaging device...). It seems that it gave him quite a good push to proceed with his life. He was stuck for some months, just lying around and often unable to move - everything too exhausting...

non-orgasming (day 44):

I'm observing the second time of menstruation since I stopped orgasming. First day and night of my menstruation were almost always so painful that I had to take a pill. This time it still was sometimes very painful, but not so long that I had to take a pill. And I could sleep without waking up because of pain.

I'm eating much more fruits and vegetables now, because I like the taste. I like the taste of carotts very much, for example.
Some sweets, that I bought (chewing fruit sweets), have such a bad artificial taste that it almost makes me vomit. Sometimes I don't like chocolate neither (but usually I still do).

That's a pretty impressive list

considering how half-hearted your sweetheart was about the trial. When I watch those clouds disappear (like the morning panic) and return, it seems to get easier to recognize them as mere illusions...or neurochemical "whisps." Smile

It always amazes me what male and female *could* be doing for each other on this planet. And it seems we only *really* see how powerful that exchange of energy is when we go back and forth between trying this for a bit and then doing without it. So trust that your experiment was worthwhile. Next time you'll find it even easier to inspire your partner.

It's all very subtle and mysterious, and yet simple and natural, isn't it?

subtle could anybody ever know that this could be linked to (not-) orgasm?? You cannot connect one to the other all by yourself unless you have special abilities of SEEING - or if somebody tells you and you start to observe...

By the way, he got very angry when I asked him, what HE observes now or did observe: "Stay out of my bed!" (ouch!) He is still interested in non-orgasming and wanted to try it at least 3 weeks. But he does not want to share where he's at or if it works, what a pity. (we just talk on the phone or write, no physical contact).

Ouch, indeed!

I'm Curious about why he said "Stay out of my bed!". Were you getting in bed with him when you asked your question?

Maybe, sometime when you know he's in a good mood, you can ask him why he reacted that way.

I think it would be a good idea to explain, gently and matter-of-factly (NOT in a scolding way), that you were hurt by his reaction, and that angry reactions like that can damage the communication between you.

I've been reading the book Love Busters, Protecting Your Marriage From Habits That Destroy Romantic Love, by Willard F. Harley, Jr. I think Chapters 5 and 6 about Angry Outbursts and Dishonesty may be of use to you.

Good luck!

no, no real bed there (we

no, no real bed there (we are far away from each other), t'was just a "saying", "my sexual life is none of your business" (ouch again...)

Thank you for the book chapters, sounds like a book I really should read.