Orgasm Withdrawl Symptoms? Believe it!!!

Submitted by pin_cushion on
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6 days ago, I came in here and spent hours reading this web site and being fascinated by the depth of knowledge shared by Marnia and her husband, as well as the generosity with which they share it with the world. I had come across the idea of sex without conventional orgasm years ago, but I never could make it work. However, when I read Marnia's work, it just 'clicked' when I realized that the problem was that I was thinking in terms of craving the orgasm and simply trying to hold back ejaculation. I seem to be in the midst of starting a new relationship, and even just at the very beginning, just taking on the attitude that the orgasm is important makes me feel so much more relaxed and comfortable.

I knew right away that I was ready to go conventional-orgasm-free. Once before, when I was partnerless, I decided to go without ejaculation at the advice of a TCM practitioner. I understood from his point of view that there was some sort of energy that he suggested I conserve to heal my body, but I had never heard the idea that orgasm is unnecessary for a satisfying sexual relationship.

The last few days, I've been seeing this girl I'm interested in. I was quite relieved to find that going in with my orgasm-free attitude from the beginning, I didn't feel any overwhelming urge to have ejaculate. You may recall from the movie "Something about Mary" that the lead character is advised by his friend to masturbate before a big date; otherwise, he is warned that he will feel as if he is carrying around a loaded gun. As for me, I felt as if I were more free to just enjoy being with her without worrying about the orgasm. Erections came and went, and I even felt a little bit of 'precum' leak into my pants, but there was no unpleasant feeling that I 'needed relief'. Once again, I feel that it you want to follow Marnia's path, it is important not only that you avoid orgasming, but you honestly give up the *desire* to have an orgasm.

So now, it's been almost 6 whole days. I felt fine for the first few days, and one of the first changes that I noticed was that when I listen to music, it feels more emotional than it used to. I don't think of porn as something I've been addicted to, but I thought I should state just for the record that I gave that up, too.

Yesterday, I started feeling my mind preoccupied with some thoughts of fetishes. As the day progressed, I felt increasingly restless, unable to sit still or concentrate for long, almost as if I had the coffee jitters, but without the coffee buzz. I also felt unmotivated to do much anything useful. I didn't expect to have this experience, but plain as day, there it was. I feel pity for those who have the extreme withdrawal symptoms described in other threads.

Finally, in the late afternoon, I did a yoga class, which in spite of the fact that I felt better afterwards, I felt so exhausted in class that I nearly passed out.

My fondest desire right now is that I get to experience the ecstatic exchanges and the karezza method soon, regardless of whether it's going to be with this girl, or someone else. I want to see this work for me, and then I want to see it work for my friends too. If it's as good as some say, it would be nothing short of criminal to not share it! Marnia's work has given me a renewed sense of hope for my love life.


I also experience the extreme restless/jittery feeling. That one seems to be quite common.
Good luck and keep us posted!

Thanks for your courage in trying something new.

Imagine if you weren't reading would never connect those classic withdrawal symptoms with orgasm. It's the easiest thing in the world *not* to see. Smile Warning, those feelings can blink on and off for about two weeks, so don't panic if they show up again.

I was touched to read about your different perspective toward your new goddess. Very inspiring. And the magic in the music was too. Truly, we seem to be playing a perception game with ourselves on this planet. It's nice to have another tool for increasing wellbeing...even if it is a bit counter-intuitive (to say the least).

Depth of music

I've experienced it too -- you can feel the depth in whatever you feel. For example, music feels much more wonderful and it's like you're noticing some of the subtler instruments for the first time. Even other things like watching cars on a freeway is much more pleasant... I look at them and compare to the times people traveled on horses, and it makes me think of my passion for technology. When you're in the cycle of addiction all this does not even cross your mind, all you care about is the next orgasm, everything else feels like it's just boring.

It's actually surprisingly difficult to realise that the bad withdrawal feelings you get are actually because you got into the cycle in the first place and not because something is wrong with the world. Judgment gets seriously skewed.

If you haven't done this already, I suggest that, in your withdrawal period, you change whatever you can of your environment. It doesn't have to be big (like shifting to another city)... other things like which music you listen to (I find this helps a lot, especially if you go over from metal to rock, or even better, to classical)... even which cafes you frequent, what food you eat (this one, not because you might associate it with the old habits, but because it will affect your feelings), and even what clothes you wear. These things do play quite a role. The harder way would be to consciously associate the old environment with your new efforts (which I haven't tried, I don't quite know how to go about it, because it would involve replacing rather than combining).

Interesting suggestions

Ever hear the phrase "projection makes perception?" Well, I have this theory that it would be more illuminating to change it to "neurochemistry makes projection make perception." In other words, how we feel determines what we project onto the world around us, and therefore shapes what we perceive through vision, sound, touch, etc.

And our neurochemical fluctuations, which we can, to some degree, learn to smooth out, have a major influence on our feelings.