I went on a date recently with this lady I've been in-touch with for about a year now; we get on well on the phone and have a lot in common in terms of beliefs, attitudes and approaches. We have stimulating conversation and on the date I do remember at one point making her laugh as well as talking frequently. However, one of her comments bugs me. She was chatting about how she used to be very shy externally and that she felt she needed to express herself more; and particularly with her career she realised that how you say things, expressions, etc matter more than what you say. She said I come across as "quite shy" even though I was talking a lot and it reminded a bit of herself and how she used to be. My heart kinda sank there tbh, even though she said "its not a bad thing" and that "admittedly, its a silly societal thing" and also that "i can't give a reason why you come across as quite shy, its subtle". She said its not about projecting authority, but about projecting a sense of "aura" about you.
Also, its not about inner confidence either; as I have demonstrated that to her - its simply being shy on the external communicative side which she thinks I reflect. It does worry me though, because I really like her a lot and we do have quite a bit in common and she asks about my interests, she enjoys reading my writings, listening to my music, etc. But yet I feel I will never make it as more than a friend to her. She texted me after I left saying she "had a great time, and I hope you had fun too!" but again, I think she was just being friendly. She is a liberal Muslim so no kissing or hugging, but I felt maybe I wasn't demonstrating enough magnetism. I did try tbh; but I really don't know what to do anymore with women. She is mature minded, and 29 years of age but she looks considerably younger and is a lawyer - she is quietly confident and not a loud person; but she can be quite bubbly too. We had a good time tbh; but I feel that her comment about external shyness has bugged me.