It's hard writing this down, like many people (I imagine) this is something that I've never talked about for the 20+ years it's been going on.
I won't go into a long history, but basically I'm happily married, although sex stopped several years ago. This is ok with me (really), I've never wanted my wife to have sex when she didn't want to, just for my sake, and we never have.
However, I've returned to masturbation like I did when I was single. And with the internet these days, it has become a porn/masturbation addiction.
December last year, I found this site, and for the first time what I was reading made sense and I thought I could see a way out. The biggest revelation was reading that I didn't have to masturbate... I've always thought that I need to 'go' once a week just to stop wet dreams and to keep healthy! Even in good times, I kept 'going' once a week (without porn) almost like it was my duty... so the thought that I could just stop for good was amazing. I was inspired, truly inspired.
11 days I went without masturbating, the longest time I've managed in years. I forget now how I failed, but I got myself together and went for 21 days. That's the best I've managed since then, and it's been getting steady worse again. It's been "day 1" so many times I've lost count.
So here I am, hoping that by telling you all, it will strengthen my resolve.
Thanks to Marnia, and to everyone who has posted their stories and advice on the site. It helps to know I'm not the only one.