reliance on porn and less interest in real women

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I have noticed that my general Libido towards women has lessened. My erections have not been as strong when im actully with woman. I can still get aroused, but i find i NEED the porn in order to do so, and much more graphic things then what used to do it for me. I find when im actully with a real person, i am not as turned on, because of course they are not as perfect and subserviant to my needs only like in the porn. There is also the fact that there is another persons needs involved and not just a chase to a orgasm.

Im wondering if the damage i have done to my neurochemstiry is reversable or not. I do believe my libido problems are part in parcel due to excesesive masturbation (3-4 x a day) with various forms of pornography over 10 years. Will abstaining from porn help bring back my normal healthy desire for real woman. or have the brain circuits been altered for good. While i believe my addictive nature led me to an extreme, im not looking for an extreme in the other direction ( total abstince) rather moderation and healthy sexuality.

thanks

Short answer: Yes it is reversable

I'm not really qualified to talk about the science but you will see that some of our members have had success in reversing these patterns. The changes come slowly and with great difficulty (unfortunately...but that's the reality of it). Basically, the key is to force your brain off of the high-low cycle that it's on now. That could mean total abstinence for a time and a painful withdrawal that is very much like withdrawal from drug addictions. But don't worry, it's not all bad--you will see some good changes very quickly into your abstinence period. Also, spending as much time as possible interacting with other humans actually dulls the pain of withdrawal and makes it bearable. I've always believed in the plasticity of the brain, that nothing is ever set in stone. Good luck!

Chris

2 years

You will see significant results after 2 weeks of abstinence from both masturbation and orgasm, but from personal experience, I can tell you that it takes a whole 2 years for your hormonal environment to fully equilibrate. Doesn't mean you can't look at porn for an occasional laugh or to satisfy a morbid curiosity. It's all in the attitude. If you look at it a lot with the wrong attitude, even without masturbating to it, you are likely to be visited by wet dreams.

Guess it's like

any addiction in that you may always have to "take precautions" not to indulge in extreme erotica. But that shouldn't keep you from finding a healthy balance.

I would just suggest that what passes as "a healthy balance" at present in our culture when it comes to coming is not as healthy as we think. We're designed for lots of sex on rare occasions (we're descended from mammals that probably had mating seasons), but the rest of the time we would probably do better with lots of bonding behaviors, including intercourse, and rare orgasm...simply because sexual satiation carries a two-week "wobble" at a neurochemical level.

So keep an open mind about what "normal" might mean for you, once you're out of the cycle.

Did I ask you if you want to read the chapter from our new book that's most relevant to the porn struggle? It's called, "The Road to Excess." Men who have read it find it really helpful in understanding more about what they're dealing with.